Posts Tagged ‘BabyOrBust Readers’

Congrats are LONG Overdue

Tuesday, August 21st, 2007

I was notified a few weeks ago that some loyal BOB readers, probably since day one, have had a baby. They requested that their names be withheld to protect the innocent. So, I’m honoring that request.

Of all the people who’ve reached out to us in the past year, and been involved with IVF/infertility as well, they’re the first couple to have had a baby. They beat the odds! They won! They said HA-HA in the face of whoever it is that said they couldn’t!

They are in a similar male-factor infertility situation. She was very sweet and said “It is with a little apprehension that I write – but “HUSBAND” says – it should give you guys hope.” Indeed it does, and I was so glad to hear from her.

They welcomed a beautiful, healthy baby girl in early July. The little gal arrived about a month early- but everyone is happy, healthy and home.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! Hopefully this gives a little hope to all of you as well.

Home Sweet Home

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

Our home, early on at Baby or Bust, was a point of contention for some. I’ve never really discussed the horrifying, utterly disgusting emails Shelton and I received during the first few months of Baby or Bust. With people having nothing better to do than spend time forwarding that unkind, filth to me, I didn’t think it warranted much attention. I had written on the “About Us” page that we had just purchased our second home. I meant the second home that we had ever owned, not that we’ve got a home in the South of France where we summer.

People were kind (make that ruthless) in pointing out that we didn’t need a home. If we got this baby, where were we supposed to take it- to a van by the river? It was a huge 90-year old house that oozed with character and charm. For anyone who has ever owned a home with this much “Character” and “Charm,” you know those terms are translated to “Repair” and “Checkbook.” It was a constant work in progress for us and one we knew we’d never be able to keep up with.

After a lot of thought and consideration, especially knowing that Wichita would not always be our home, we decided to sell her. I believe I mentioned we were planning to do so or had just begun a while back. It took only 6 weeks to find someone who would love her just as much as we did. We got a fair price considering we’d been there less than two years.

We sold the house on June 18 and moved into our new apartment the weekend before. People think we’re out of our gourds for selling a house to move into an apartment. But it’s saving us so much money. It’s saving us stress and time. It’s allowing us to “pull up anchor” and explore our options. I hate the idea of burning money in an apartment, but the pros at this point time seem to outweigh the cons.

Let me tell you- it was no small feat moving three floors into an apartment. My brother said he’d seen barns smaller than our house. (Don’t kid yourself- we paid less than a hundred grand for that place). Having grown up in little houses, I was beside myself to move into my version of a mansion. And of course the intent was to bring a little baby home to make those walls seems a little smaller. But now we’re in the apartment where the dog (Tibet) and the golf clubs seem to be duking it out for space under the dining room table. It’s not quite that bad- but we’re purging A LOT of stuff because it’s just impossible to make it all fit and still let this place resemble a home and not the A-Plus Storage.

Can I just say, that I bawled like a baby when I handed the keys over to the 9-month pregnant buyer. She was due in like three weeks and I just couldn’t help but be a pinch jealous that she was getting to do what I had intended to do with that house- bring home her first baby girl. I asked which room they were going to make the nursery. It would be the room we had used as a den. I really do hope they are all adjusting well in their new/first home.

So that’s the story on the house. I’m STILL unpacking, still unorganized. And for the OCD-Annie that I am, it’s just unacceptable and making me crazy. But we’re slowly fitting everything in.

July 1

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

Just like most husbands, I have failed to wish Baby or Bust a timely HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! On July 1, BOB turned one year. It all kicked off last July with a “test” donation from my brother, Kyle, and quickly turned into more than $6,000 in donations. Unbelievable. Our goal was of course not met, but I think we never anticipated receiving that much. From perfect strangers no less.

BOB has definitely been a wild ride for Shelton and I. This was yet again one of my wild whims that he gave into. But I just knew I had to do it. Strip away the donations, I just wanted to provide a place where the average Joe, like Shelton and I, could find valid, real-life information about infertility. I knew if I were looking for it and couldn’t find it, then I certainly couldn’t be alone.

We’ve heard from hundreds and hundreds of people from right here in Wichita to Spain, Australia, Switzerland everywhere in between. I think it was less than a week that we received a donation from a woman in Madrid, Spain. It was a perfect example of how quickly the Internet unites us and makes the world oh-so small.

Shelton and I did several radio interviews, the CBS Early Show interview, made front page of the Wichita Eagle and have been featured (and kicked in the teeth) on countless Web sites. It was this press coverage that helped BOB to be as successful as it has been and we are grateful to all of the media representatives who saw in us a story worth sharing.

I’m proud of this site and I’m proud of the attention it has brought to infertility. I’ve learned that the people who need this site have found their way to it. I’ve learned that ultimately, laughing about this has been my best medicine- and I hope it’s yours too. There’s nothing we can do about it. My life is too short to waste it feeling sorry for myself and what if-ing myself into corners I can’t back out of. I’ve learned to appreciate the abundance in my life and not to take an ounce of it for granted- the support of our families, the love of our friends (and who the real ones are), the gift of two really great jobs, our perfect health, the strength of our marriage. I’ve learned the generosity of strangers- and I’m now more inclined than ever to reciprocate that generosity at every opportunity I have.

We recently renewed our domain name, so we’re going to be around for a while. This past year would not have been possible with out the encouragement and support of all of our friends and family, the thousands of visitors to our site, the overwhelming generosity of the donors and emails filled with kind words and support.

Happy Anniversary Baby or Bust- and thank you to each of you for making it possible!!

There is no way to understand it unless you’ve been there

Tuesday, July 18th, 2006

This infertility business is for the birds. Too bad the birds and the bees won’t get us what we want!

The first time the doctor says those words to you- that you can’t have a baby on your own- it’s mind-boggling. I remember when we were told everything just seemed so quiet, as if we were the only ones on earth who couldn’t go home, do it and get preggers. How nice would that be?

And look at the irony of how long we spent trying with all of our might not to get pregnant, only to find out we could have spared ourselves all of that… and just enjoyed it!!

In the early days, before we really had a definitive answer, and me always the pessimist, I called my mom to vent. This is who I always call to vent to no matter the topic. I would talk and cry and what if until I’m sure she was ready for me to hang up (just kidding). I remember one day she told me, “Honey, there is no way for me to understand what you’re going through. I popped out 3 kids without even thinking about it.” She was so right. And it dawned on me, unless you’ve been through this, you don’t get it.

Unless you’ve been told you can’t have your own children, you don’t know the unbelievable ache that you feel through your entire body. You don’t know that when you hear the other mommies telling stories about the CUTEST moments in their childrens’ lives, that you just want to cry. You don’t know how it feels every time someone calls to tell you that they’re expecting, you just can’t help but wonder why you weren’t as lucky. Walking through the store past the baby clothes- pure agony.

I’ve heard from SO MANY of you other women facing infertility and you have all said the same thing- no one gets it but us. It’s such an isolating feeling, and yet there are millions of us.

To hear your stories and to feel like I’m finally amongst people who get it is such sweet therapy. I feel your hugs and I hope you feel mine. Together, with our loud voices and our unending desire to be moms (and dads), we will make the world understand. I hope you too are finding some comfort in hearing mine and Shelton’s story.

I promise I’m reading all of your emails, I just can’t keep up with responding to them all! So please don’t hesitate to write and share your experience. I’m hoping to pull some of your great quotes and stories and post them- anonymously of course. We all have so much to share.

Share the Love

Friday, July 14th, 2006

We just received an E-mail about an our ago from a couple in Canada who is going through a similar situation. They have asked for help and we are happy to oblige. They have already gone through the IVF process once successfully, but unfortunately lost the pregnancy. Their next attempt is coming up in October and she is having a hard time finding the means. We have agreed to donate all internet donations made on Saturday, July 15th to them.

We have asked for proof of her situation and upon receipt and verification we will begin to share the love. Now, if this cannot be accommodated, then all funds will go back into the BabyorBust fund.

BabyorBust was founded on the idea that we could open people’s eyes to IVF and the expense and emotion that it brings with it. Our hope at the end is to continue accepting donations, along with any additional funds left over, in order to offer grants to other couples facing infertility. We look forward to helping so many more couples- and thank you for the overwhelming support we’ve received so far.

Together, we’re all going to make a huge difference.