Shelton & Brandi

Hello! We're Brandi & Shelton Koskie. Since 2006 we’ve been one of the many couples on the In Vitro Fertilization journey. We were the first IVF fundraiser blog, and thanks to the generous help of many, in we had our first successful IVF attempt. Nine months later, we had a beautiful girl, Paisley. You’re invited to follow along on our journey from infertility to parenthood.  Learn more

School Boy

My husband is amazing- in case I haven’t mentioned it before. He has sacrificed time and time again for me since the day we started “going out.” Whether it be a TV show that I’d rather watch, foregoing restaurants that he’d rather not eat at but will because I love it, sanity, time and even his education- he constantly bends over backwards to make me happy. And this isn’t something that goes unnoticed or unappreciated. It’s who he is and I love him for it.

What the hell is she rambling about- you’re probably wondering. Shortly after Shelton and I married he decided to quit school. It was a decision I fought fiercely, because I knew the likelihood of him ever returning was slim and I knew it was something he’d regret later on. He justified by saying that I was so close to graduating and starting my career that he would quit now, work full time and let me finish. So that’s what we did.

Last year he found out that his company offers full tuition reimbursement. I told him, as a loving wife would, that basically he was an idiot if he didn’t take advantage. So he has been back in school for a year now- working to complete his bachelor’s degree in MIS. I’m so proud of him. He’s got a 4.0 GPA, loving his classes and really excited about where this is going to take him.

That’s where he is tonight- and four other nights of every week until 10pm. We don’t see much of each other these days. Pass on the way to work in the morning, inhale our dinner in an attempt to at least spend that time together and then cuddle up at bedtime. It’s a small price I’m willing to pay now to secure our future, and more importantly his happiness.

Written by Brandi and posted under Koskie Life

July 1

Just like most husbands, I have failed to wish Baby or Bust a timely HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!! On July 1, BOB turned one year. It all kicked off last July with a “test” donation from my brother, Kyle, and quickly turned into more than $6,000 in donations. Unbelievable. Our goal was of course not met, but I think we never anticipated receiving that much. From perfect strangers no less.

BOB has definitely been a wild ride for Shelton and I. This was yet again one of my wild whims that he gave into. But I just knew I had to do it. Strip away the donations, I just wanted to provide a place where the average Joe, like Shelton and I, could find valid, real-life information about infertility. I knew if I were looking for it and couldn’t find it, then I certainly couldn’t be alone.

We’ve heard from hundreds and hundreds of people from right here in Wichita to Spain, Australia, Switzerland everywhere in between. I think it was less than a week that we received a donation from a woman in Madrid, Spain. It was a perfect example of how quickly the Internet unites us and makes the world oh-so small.

Shelton and I did several radio interviews, the CBS Early Show interview, made front page of the Wichita Eagle and have been featured (and kicked in the teeth) on countless Web sites. It was this press coverage that helped BOB to be as successful as it has been and we are grateful to all of the media representatives who saw in us a story worth sharing.

I’m proud of this site and I’m proud of the attention it has brought to infertility. I’ve learned that the people who need this site have found their way to it. I’ve learned that ultimately, laughing about this has been my best medicine- and I hope it’s yours too. There’s nothing we can do about it. My life is too short to waste it feeling sorry for myself and what if-ing myself into corners I can’t back out of. I’ve learned to appreciate the abundance in my life and not to take an ounce of it for granted- the support of our families, the love of our friends (and who the real ones are), the gift of two really great jobs, our perfect health, the strength of our marriage. I’ve learned the generosity of strangers- and I’m now more inclined than ever to reciprocate that generosity at every opportunity I have.

We recently renewed our domain name, so we’re going to be around for a while. This past year would not have been possible with out the encouragement and support of all of our friends and family, the thousands of visitors to our site, the overwhelming generosity of the donors and emails filled with kind words and support.

Happy Anniversary Baby or Bust- and thank you to each of you for making it possible!!

Written by Brandi and posted under About BabyOrBust

Recovery

Yesterday morning I walked into work and straight into the office of one of my co-workers. She’s a thirty-something mom of two, works full time, one of the most genuine people I know and she looks stunning every day. I looked at her, with bags under my eyes and told her I didn’t understand how she could look so beautiful every day and not drink. She laughed and I told her the next time I hit my snooze button I would think of her.

Those two boys wiped us out!

Shelton and I picked up the two boys Saturday morning at 9am and I did not stop moving until their parents came home at 7pm on Sunday. I really had no idea that two days with two children (and three dogs) would be as much work as it was. The motion was constant- diapers, meals, playing, meals, diapers, read a story, bath time, clean up……….. for those of you with kids you know exactly what I’m talking about.

We really had a good time and the boys were so well behaved, they’re great kids. It was certainly an eye-opening experience. Granted, it’s completely different when they’re your kids and you have the past seven years to establish schedules and routines and just get used to having kids. I can tell you that when the baby woke up crying at 3am Shelton and I went on full alert. The house could have been burning down and I don’t think we would have freaked as hard. We threw the blankets back, blindly stumbled to turn on every light switch we could find and raced into the baby’s room. He had scooted out from under his blanky and couldn’t find his way back to it. I was like- that was it?!

The baby and his big brother decided to start Sunday at 6:45 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN? It was still down. As in, it was dark outside and TOO EARLY TO BE AWAKE!! The boys crawled up in bed with us and flipped on the cartoons. It took less than ten minutes for the baby decide he wanted to be up-up.

We had two very full days with a trip to the movies, the zoo, bath time, stories and hide-and-go seek. We hope that our friends thought we returned the boys in good condition. We applaud all of you with kiddos because whether you’ve got one or ten, your hands are so full!

Written by Brandi and posted under Koskie Life

Test Drive

Before you buy a car, you obviously take for a spin around the block. It seems there aren’t enough opportunities to test drive things that we’re going to be committed to for a while. Things like a new house, a haircut, or maybe a ridiculous pair of shoes. Well, Shelton and I are getting the opportunity to test drive parenthood this weekend. Some friends of ours who live a few doors down are out of town this weekend. They called to ask a few weeks ago if we would mind watching their two boys while they’re away.

Saturday morning we will pick up the seven year old and two year old and head back to their house w/ their two dogs and our dog. I’m tired just thinking about it.

They are fantastic kids and “the mom” has done an excellent job of outlining meals, bed time routines, activities, meds and which TV channels they can watch. But I still feel a little like I’m being dropped in a foreign country with nothing more than a “guide pamphlet” rather than a book and a little cash for survival. We just keep giggling how we are going to be way in over our heads. However, I’m confident that this will be easy peasy lemon squeezy.

We’re hopeful the weather will hold out this weekend so we can take walks and go to the zoo and the park. I thinking having us cooped up in the house together all weekend might be dangerous.

So wish us luck. We’ll see how this parenting thing looks on us.

Written by Brandi and posted under Koskie Life

If you’re in Lubbock, TX- Please Read

It’s a long shot, but if anyone reading this is in Lubbock or knows someone in Lubbock, please take a moment to read.

My family suffered a devastating loss this weekend. My younger cousin Scotty was killed in a hit-and-run on Sunday morning. Scotty was walking on the street and a car hit him, drove off and Scotty died at the hospital shortly thereafter.

Witnesses identified a white car with four hispanic males inside. If you have any information, we urge you to call authorities. If you’re the praying kind, please keep Scotty and family in mind.

There is an unimaginable sadness coursing through the vein of our entire family. Unfortunately, I didn’t know him really at all. In the past two days I feel like I’ve learned more about him than I ever would have otherwise. This greatly saddens me. I’ve read his MySpace with notes from his many friends and several news stories and he sounds like the kind of kid that we would all want to know. He was serving in the Army National Guard and set to deploy in May.

I wish I could be in Lubbock this week to be with my family, offer hugs, prayer, dinner or whatever else needed to be done. I hope they all know how much I love them and how my thoughts are staying with him.

Again, if you have any information, please call authorities immediately. Thank you.

(News Story)

Written by Brandi and posted under Koskie Life

Slight Change in Plans

OK, so here goes. We are not going to have a baby this year. This was a decision that was not made easily, as none of this has been easy. Shelton and I shared a lot of tears, deep conversation, prayer and time to decide that this is the best decision right now.

As I’ve shared, and you can probably imagine, last year dealt me the worst I’ve ever seen. By the end of December I was beginning to sink into a bit of depression, I wasn’t sleeping and I felt this overwhelming anxiety. One evening I told Shelton that I just didn’t think it made sense right now to move forward with the IVF. I wanted to wait one or two more years.

Believe me, we want to start a family more than anything. But I made us re-examine the entire picture. I was changing jobs, Shelton is still in school (thanks to his company’s tuition reimbursement), we’re selling the house, and among many other reasons, we didn’t have the full amount needed. With the $6,000 in donations (THANK YOU!!!), $5000 in FSA and a couple thousand from our tax return, we were still going to have to borrow a couple thousand dollars. We just didn’t want to do that. We’d rather continue saving and have cash in hand.

Our only sound reason for continuing this year was our FSA. That is the non-refundable, pre-tax money we were having taken out of our paychecks. We were going to use that entire amount toward the IVF. It’s a use it or lose it plan. We figured we’d just have to buy a lot of glasses, bandaids and Aleve this year to eat that up. The very next day Shelton received a message that due to a mix-up on the FSA company’s part, they were offering an opt-out. So, we were SO FORTUNATE to get out of that and save ourselves that loss. It felt like a little sign from God telling us that we’d made the right decision.

I know we did. A huge weight has been lifted and I’m feeling like myself again. Shelton and I believe whole-heartedly that a year or two from now we’ll be able to walk into that clinic with a check and start our IVF class.

Baby Or Bust is not going anywhere!! I will continue to update you on our progress and share news and information I find. Please know that all of the donations are tucked away safely. We once again thank you for your support, encouragement and for tagging along on our little journey. It has definitely presented more surprises, ups and downs than I think we ever anticipated. I’m so grateful for having this site to use as an outlet for all of it. And I hope that you, whether an infertile couple or not, have gained something as well.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey