Shelton & Brandi

Hello! We're Brandi & Shelton Koskie. Since 2006 we’ve been one of the many couples on the In Vitro Fertilization journey. We were the first IVF fundraiser blog, and thanks to the generous help of many, in we had our first successful IVF attempt. Nine months later, we had a beautiful girl, Paisley. You’re invited to follow along on our journey from infertility to parenthood.  Learn more

Hot Mommas

Whenever I see a woman who has had a baby and weeks later looks like she’s never eaten a brownie, much less delivered a baby- I immediately hate her! I’ve never had a baby, but I consider it sympathy hate for all the other women who have and months/years later are still fighting to get back their pre-baby hotness.

Living a more healthy lifestyle is as common a theme these days, as is going green. It’s something that Shelton and I have really been proactive about in the Koskie house. We have introduced a no enriched/bleached/partially hydrogenated anything rule. In doing so, I’ve given up a lifelong love affair with Wheat Thins (seriously, read the box, you’ll be horrified) in exchange for Triscuits (no where near as frightening or deadly). There are no more Quaker Chocolate Chip granola bars, only the Kashi Honey Almond and Cherry Dark Chocolate granola bars (read the Quaker ingredients- I could not believe I’d been eating that). In doing this, we’ve also discovered a lot of foods that we probably never would have eaten- like whole grain pastas, ground turkey and even broadening our horizons at the fish counter. You also won’t find a drop of soda in this house- only water and 100% juice.

We’re doing this because we want to be healthy and feel good about what’s going in our bodies. Hitting the gym more frequently and just being more conscientious about being active have also increased.

What does this have to do w/ not liking the women who bounce back ten minutes after having a baby? Well… it’s a known fact that infertility can be linked with obesity and being over weight. The way I see it, we’ve got enough playing against our chances to have a baby, I’m not giving mother nature any more ammo than she deserves. So I’m taking control of this part of my health. And I figure if it’s this much a part of my lifestyle now, then once I do have a baby- maybe I’ll be more likely to shuck those pounds and be amongst the hated women who loses the baby weight quickly.

If you are one of the blessed ladies sporting a bump or recently had your baby, you need to check out these diets specific for moms: Baby Fit and The Pregnancy Diet.

I’m also a really big fan of FitDay– it’s a free online journal that you can use to track everything from calories to sit-ups. It does all the calculations for you, is accessible from anywhere with Internet and makes a really fun and easy way to monitor your progress.

Welcome Ada

She’s here! My girlfriend Christie welcomed Ada Nancy Wednesday afternoon. The little 7-pound gem is healthy, perfect and beautiful. She looks just like her momma. I got to cuddle with her briefly yesterday and I’m still enjoying her intoxicating scent! Congratulations!

A Best Friend’s Love Note

Any minute now a little girl, who will be named Ada, will be born to my oldest and dearest friend. Christie was due yesterday and the little booger is just not in any kind of hurry to come meet all of us. As long as I live I won’t forget the moment Christie called to tell me she was going to have a baby. Immediately I was filled with that now all-too-familiar half thrilled/half jealous. I’ve talked about it before, but Shelton’s brother has had a baby, cousins, friends, co-workers- the entire spectrum. No other pregnant person has ever been closer to me than Christie- it feels very much as if my own sister is about to deliver- because she is.

Christie and I met in 9th grade, when we were 14. I’d just transfered in to a new school. I had a hideous haircut, started wearing a bra and makeup, new school my first day of junior high and no friends. Christie and another girl were in my science class, which preceded lunch each day. I remember carefully sitting “near” them at lunch each day- not too close as to impose, but close enough to let them know that I thought we could be pals. We eventually started talking and they admitted to calling me “Shadow” because I was always kind of lurking around them. My persistence paid off and soon the bad haircut grew out and we were damn near inseparable- on and off campus.

The end of that school year her family moved out of state. My world shattered. I’d never known a friend like this. I often think of the Shania Twain song that says “Looks like we made it, we beat the odds together, I’m glad we didn’t listen.” Our parents all told us that we’d likely keep in touch through that summer, but then new school years would start, new friends would be made and one day we’d be nothing more than a box of pictures and funny notes passed between classes.

But we made it. We beat the odds. I’m SO GLAD we didn’t listen. Christie has touched my life in ways I cannot count- and I hate to even imagine what I’d do without her the past 12 or 13 years. At this point, who’s counting? We’ve literally seen it all together- first kisses, first heartbreak, new schools, drivers licenses, high school and college graduations, death of family members, falling in love, marriage, spring break trips, and the list of course goes on. We’ve laughed and cried more together than we have with probably any other single person.  So when I say that I feel like my sister is having a baby- I’m not exaggerating.

During the past nine months, I’ve stood on the sidelines watching her grow a little more and slowly start adapting to becoming a mother. I went to see her in Dallas in November for a shower that I’ve never been more excited to throw. We stayed up so late that night and sorted through every single onesie, sock, blanket, storybook and ruffle. And then stood inside that precious little nursery and laughed at ourselves. How did we- Brandi and Christie- get here? We’re not old enough for this. I talk to her often on the phone and try to encourage her and tell her that, while she thinks “this baby is never coming out,” it is a scientific fact that she will exit. I keep encouraging her to eat Mexican food, do jumping jacks, and as I read on one site- stimulate her nipples to induce labor. That’s what friends do- at least the bestest of friends.

I’ve caught myself spontaneously crying over the last few weeks as I try to imagine the scene when I walk into her home and see Christie, my goofy friend from junior high, sitting there with her first daughter in her arms. I’m overwhelmed with emotions I don’t know how to understand. She’s going to be the most unbelievable mother- kind, generous, curious, silly and loving. There will be no shortage of cookies or hugs. I am just so happy for her. Thrilled. Ecstatic. Overjoyed.

Christie I love you more than you know. And I cannot wait to watch you become a mom. I promise to just fall in love with that baby… because I already have. Now- HURRY UP! Every time the phone rings I jump out of my skin and can barely handle the phone.

Happy New Year!

Ok, Ok- if any of you are still reading, then thank you! If you haven’t jumped ship during this three month hiatus, then I guess you are Baby or Bust’s most loyal fans. Shelton and I want to wish you a happy new year and hope that your holiday seasons were bright and merry and all that other fluffy stuff. We were very blessed this year with one of the best Christmas seasons we’ve enjoyed in quite some time. It’s true what they say- the giving is so much better than the receiving.

2007 as a whole was a great year for us, one we’ll remember fondly. While it began with the difficult decision to postpone our having a baby, it picked up from there. A major highlight was that we celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Part of my absence from this site in the latter part of the year was due to some professional obligations. Between starting a new job, quitting an old and some traveling for the job, unfortunately Baby Or Bust was a tad neglected.

I maintained a freelance writing job during 2007 and toward November that part-time gig turned into a full-time job offer. It’s honestly one of those opportunities that doesn’t come along every day and the potential is enormous. So I giddily accepted, resigned my position at the cable company and have settled quite nicely into my new work-from-home job. I’m working with this amazing team of people and we’re taking on the web marketing world. There’s a huge learning curve for me- but they’re patient and I like to think I’m picking it up quickly. The company is based in NYC and I remain here in Wichita. What a deal, huh?! I get the sweet New York ad job and the Wichita cost of living.

Shelton continues to pursue his bachelor’s degree and recently received a quasi-promotion into an incredible program at his company. Both should wrap up in about two years leaving Shelton with more tools under his belt that he’ll know what to do with and making any employer very lucky if they can snag him. I am so proud of all he’s accomplishing.

Looking ahead for ‘08- still no babies. You’d be surprised, maybe, but it’s a subject that we discuss frequently. Neither of us can wait to be parents and start our family, but from this experience we’ve definitely learned that we want to be as prepared as possible. So for now, that means accelerating our careers, saving all that money we’re going to need and enjoying being a couple and continuing to lay that foundation. Both of our jobs are going to require A LOT of traveling this year. We keep joking that we’ll meet for lunch in airports. We should be airborn at least once a month.

Happy New Year again- and I’ll make a better point of getting on here to say hello.

– Brandi

Legacy

A really interesting story about the widow of a soldier who died in Iraq who had his baby posthumously. They were facing infertility before his deployment, so they froze his sperm to be on the safe side. She now has a healthy baby boy who bares a striking resemblance to his father.

It also sounds like freezing sperm prior to deployment is quite popular amongst soldiers. Not as an attempt to leave their wives with an opportunity to have babies should they not return- but ensure that they can start a family after their return due to some of the harmful chemicals and conditions they are exposed to.

Too Good to be True?

I’ve received so many emails inquiring about Free-IVF.com. A lot of you are coming out and saying that you’ve had some questionable interaction with them.

Soon after we launched this site we received an unsolicited donation from Free-IVF. That was how we came to learn about the site and program. We were excited because they were doing what we hope to do someday- provide free grants to families trying to conceive via IVF. We continue to receive correspondence from them, including the email I posted below (Stork Campaign). I figured if someone visited Baby Or Bust and didn’t feel like donating here, maybe their money could go to that organization. Or, some of the families who visit the site would learn of another avenue for financial support.

I’ve never read or heard anything negative about the organization, so I posted the email. Now some of you are writing to say that in order to receive funding from Free-IVF, you’re required to make a $100 donation- but then you never hear anything from them. I’ve been told emails and phone calls go unreturned for extended periods of time. This is unfortunate, and I’m always naive enough to see the good in everyone- I hope that families are not being taken for a ride.

I’m going to get in touch with the org director, as well as the BBB in Georgia (where they are located). I hope to return with good news. But in the mean time, I thought I’d let you know what others have been sharing with me about their experiences.

I’m not knocking or supporting the site- just looks like we need a little more info.