Shelton & Brandi

Hello! We're Brandi & Shelton Koskie. Since 2006 we’ve been one of the many couples on the In Vitro Fertilization journey. We were the first IVF fundraiser blog, and thanks to the generous help of many, in we had our first successful IVF attempt. Nine months later, we had a beautiful girl, Paisley. You’re invited to follow along on our journey from infertility to parenthood.  Learn more

The Saga of the Crampy Legs

Last Thursday I had what we’ll call The Worst Night of Sleep of My Entire Life. Shelton didn’t sleep a wink that night either because I was so restless. In fact, I probably disturbed the entire cul-de-sac. I had charlie horses, heartburn, muscle cramps, couldn’t find a comfortable position, tossed this way, tossed that way, nightmares… you name it. It was miserable.

I chalked it up to the fact that we’d finished a big Mexican meal at 9:00pm, and then went to bed at 10:00. A huge no-no under any circumstances. But when Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights played out

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My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus

Hopefully this is one of the bumper stickers we can hang on our refrigerator (because even if our kid becomes an astronaut Shelton will not allow for the placement of stickers on our cars!): My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus, and Yours Eats Chicken Nuggets.

Growing up I was a painfully picky eater. And to be fair, “growing up” can best be defined by the last 28 years of my life. My palate has the depth of a teaspoon. I blame this, and mom DO NOT take any offense to this, on my parents. My exposure to food was pretty limited. We had Pizza Hut on speed dial, were on a first name basis with the Burger King manager, and probably consumed every flavor of Hamburger Helper on the grocery store shelf. (Thank someone for our metabolisms because we would have been poster children for childhood obesity!) I inherited my picky ways from both nature and nurture. My dad is also a very picky eater, so if I saw him turn his nose at something (oh, I don’t know, say RICE!) I wasn’t about to eat it. My mom, on the other hand, would have had us eating everything under the sun if she’d had her way. But my dad’s rule over what we ate (ground beef and potatoes) and our limited budget precluded us from broadening our culinary horizons.

As I grew up this became a huge handicap for me. To this day I have an almost fear of eating at other people’s houses. What will they serve us? How will they prepare it? Are there onions in? You put an eggplant in what? I got good at telling people that 1) I’d either had it several times before and just couldn’t stomach it, or 2) I was allergic. Neither of these were or are true. I have zero food allergies and if it looked even remotely suspicious there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to try it.

And on the very rare occasion that I had to try something, it would go terribly wrong. Take for instance the family vacation to Disney World where I was forced to eat a bratwurst with sauerkraut in the middle of Epcot’s Germany and proceeded to puke my guts out. I, to this today, have a tremendous gag reflex and I’m not going to keep anything down that my tongue deems not worthy.

So as I said, my persnickety eating habits have been a hindrance. Business lunches and dinners at ethnic restaurants are a nightmare – and I either beg to go somewhere else, or I’ve even been known to go a day or so ahead of time and “test drive” the menu to ensure I can find at least one thing that won’t lead to a “most embarrassing moment of my life.” Exhibit A, I had dinner with Jillian Michaels last spring at a sushi restaurant in LA. Three days before the dinner, I made Shelton take me to a local spot where I tried sushi for the first time, rather enjoyed it, and made copious notes in my phone so that I could order with out fail in front of Ms. Michaels.

In the past few years, as my love of cooking has developed, so have my tastes. I’ve discovered when in the privacy of my own kitchen with me at the ingredient controls I’m willing to try just about anything. I even attempted to make a Thai dish once that before completion ended up in the trash because the smell was so overwhelming, but the point is I tried. My mother-in-law keeps a list on her refrigerator of the foods I will not eat, alongside a similar list for both of my sisters-in-law, and I’m proud to say mine is the only one that has been mostly crossed off. I eat rice now people – white AND brown!

What could this possibly have to do what having a baby? A lot actually. One of my fears for my ability to raise a child has been my picky eating habits. I don’t mind passing on my curly hair or even my ability to speak my mind and share my opinion no matter what; but I do not want to create another generation of people who curl their lips and noses at the thought of – VEGETABLES. Oh the horror!

As editor for DietsInReview.com, I’m sent a library worth of books every year, books related to diet, health, wellness and fitness. We review them, but as most editors will tell you, I don’t read them cover to cover. A few months ago a book showed up that really caught my attention, and the title is My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus. (Kudos to the author and editors for coming up with that one!) I read this one cover to cover, in fact, I couldn’t put it down and haven’t shut-up about it since i started reading.

Nancy Tringoli Piho is the author, a former food industry PR guru who handed over her press releases for mommyhood. She and her husband are foodies, so when she had her first child, she set about feeding him the same way they ate. What a novel idea. Or is it? In her book she discusses how eating trends for American children have so drastically changed from those of even our parents or grandparents. There’s an entire industry of kid foods, and for some reason, most parents only feed their kids from this limited, starchy, processed menu of mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and grilled cheese sandwiches. Meanwhile, the parents enjoy pasta with pesto and shrimp or a curry or fajitas or God knows what else. The point is, this act limits the development of their children’s palates.

My family gives me a hard time because even now when all we have is a bump in my womb, I’m adamant about how our child will and will not eat. I’m not going to raise a kid who is all strung out on sugar and refuses to eat vegetables. How do I make that happen? Well, My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus helped me feel justified in this early parenting decision that I’ve made and even offered a few ideas I hadn’t yet considered.

We’ll make our own baby food. That way, our child immediately learns the flavors, smells, colors and textures of what a green bean or sweet potato really is, rather than the high-sodium, high-sugar, over-processed version that Gerber wants to sell us at the grocery store.

We’ll introduce broader flavors and varieties of foods at an earlier age than most people do. Piho explains that in other cultures children are eating spicy foods and even more complex flavors like lamb as first foods, and we’re all human, so why can’t my American baby eat that too?

When we make dinner, that’s what everyone is eating. Shelton and I aren’t going to have sushi while the kids munch on Goldfish crackers and cheese sticks.

My goal here is to help develop a taste and appreciation for good food, health them understand that food is fuel and serves a purpose, and help my kids grow to be healthy and strong.

My picking eating habits are infamous. Friends, family and colleagues will all attest to the to down-right aggravating way I eat, or rather don’t. But hopefully, twenty or so years from now, or even five, no one will be able to say that about our child.

I really do recommend this book and hope you’ll give it a read. You can see more of my My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus review here at DietsInReview.com, and you’ll see that I think it should be added to the must-read list for all expectant moms.

Pregnancy Week 15

Our second week in to the second trimester and I actually started feeling normal, for the first time since we got pregnant. Still tired, I feel like that part’s not going to shake. Twelve hours of sleep a night is not abnormal for me and something I actually crave by the time I crawl all limp-eyed into bed at night. But when I’m awake during the day I have more energy than I have had, which is a really nice feeling. I also don’t feel the nagging, constant hunger that has taken up residency in my gut since August. When I do eat, I’m eating less as I fill up more quickly. But the between meal snacking isn’t as persistent as before, and again, it feels nice.

Unfortunately, new symptoms arrived this week. I thought the aches and pains weren’t supposed to show up until much later, but I guess that’s happening now. I think it was Thursday night that I literally had the worst night of sleep of my entire life. It didn’t matter how I positioned myself, nothing was comfortable. I had charlie horses, nightmares, heartburn, aches, pains, and apparently a conversation with Shelton about kids and marshmallows. It was miserable. During the day, I’m just achy. If Shelton places his hand on my back in the evening I feel like I could swallow his hand with my muscles – the pressure feels that good.

Some days the achiness radiates more from between my shoulders than elsewhere. I attribute that to the new set of breasts I’m hauling around. Last week I bought my first double-D bra. And unfortunately I feel like that’s not the end of the growth spurt I’m experiencing. Other times the pain radiates from my tailbone/lower back, and that’s the pain that feels nearly impossible to get rid of. It gets to the point where it hurts to walk, and of course sitting doesn’t help. This morning Shelton commented that the shape and curve of my back had changed. Clearly my body is shifting and changing in ways neither of us expected.

That was really about all that happened in week 15. Today we began week 16 and hoping that it goes just as smoothly.

Lee Press-on Nails and Porn Star Boobs

Ahhh, the changes your body goes through to make a baby. It’s glorious, isn’t it? Everyone’s always talking about this miracle and the process. Please! This is such an inconvenience. (not the baby, the body)

Look, no one can appreciate being pregnant more than me. I don’t take one ounce of this for granted and I truly am embracing this entire experience because it’s never ever happening again. (Unless this “miracle” baby Shelton keeps talking about happens. You know, the day after our kid moves to college we find out we’re pregnant!)

But does it have to be like this? This week I’ve entered the achy phase. Isn’t it too soon for this? Nothing is comfortable. Lying down, sitting up, on my butt, on my knees, to the left, to the right, this chair, that chair, that couch, the floor, the hearth, pillows propped, ….. NOTHING is comfortable. My back, shoulders, tailbone, hips, pelvis, legs, head, they all hurt and ache constantly. I had a little realization last night that maybe my hips/pelvis are starting to shift. But again I ask, this early?

Shelton said I’ve been groaning in my sleep. Clearly uncomfortable.

Part of the problem I can state for a fact are my new porn star boobs. A while back I mentioned getting reacquainted with my breasts (such a delicate word). If only I’d known then what I know now. These are straight-up porn boobs. And being that the majority of my adult life I’ve carried a respectable set of Ds, I had no need nor interest in gaining anything else. I can understand how a girl with As or even Bs might be ecstatic about this new addition to her anatomy. But I’m not impressed. To be perfectly honest I’m overwhelmed. What in the hell am I supposed to do with these things??? Surely they are creating some of the strain my back.

I’m in awe. Brava Mother Nature, Brava! Now, we’ve seen what you can do, clean up your mess!

One change that I’m not too disgruntled about are my fingernails. In a few recent photos my fingernails have been in the shot for whatever reason and I’ve really been caught by how nice they look. These are long and strong and look like girl fingernails (something I can’t usually say for my kindergartner hands). Kudos to you prenatal vitamins and pregnancy hormones. I can remember when the Lee Press-on nails came out when I was a kid. I used to tell my grandmother, who has the best nails in the world, that’s what I thought her nails were. So I guess I finally got my Lees as well!

Pregnancy Week 14

OK, so it’s official, we are in the second trimester. Woo woo! Huge relief. We both feel like a bit of weight has been lifted, and yet we know we’ve still got a long way to go.

The whole thing is still unbelievably surreal to us both. The only thing that slaps us into reality is my ever-expanding belly. Yes, it’s getting rounder and rounder by the day. For now it’s a perfect little bump, nicely centered. I do hope it doesn’t expand on a horizontal plane. Nevertheless, being pregnant still feels foreign and intangible to me at times, and I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever get past that. I think of everything we’ve done and where are lives have gone in the five years we wanted/tried to have a baby. It’s then that I realize how truly long we really did wait to get here.

So we embrace. I just keep reminding myself that this is all worth it.

I do have a new pet peeve (as if my list had room for any more!). The psuedo “I told you so comments.” For instance, I say I’m so hungry all the time. And people reply with – well, this is what you asked for. I say I have heartburn that would make a dragon cry. And people reply that this is what I signed up for. I mention that none of my clothes fit. And people kindly remind that I knew what I was getting myself in to.

“No shit!” is what I want to scream back. As if I needed a snarky reminder of exactly what it is we got ourselves in to. I’m pretty sure I was there the day I handed the clinic two credit cards and a check to make our lump payment of more than $10,000. So, I’m pretty sure I knew as she was swiping and stamping that I wouldn’t feel well, that my skinny jeans wouldn’t fit for a while and that I might be all around uncomfortable for a period of time. But again, I also know just how very worth it all of this is.

Anyhow, can anyone else tell the hormones arrived? I laugh and I cry and I get really, REALLY frustrated.

We did have an appointment last week (read week 14 OB appointment) and got the a-OK from the doctor. My weight is progressing normally and everything else checked out perfectly. You can’t ask for more than that. And I started pre-natal yoga which I’m so pumped about and will take every Monday.

It was a fairly uneventful week. I just keep growing, and eating, and sleeping, and popping Tums like Halloween candy.

OB Appointment – Week 14

I had my second OB appointment this week with Dr. W. I had planned this one specifically leading in to the lunch hour so that Shelton would finally be able to tag along and meet the doctor. Unfortunately, a last-minute lunch appointment kept him away. I was oddly bummed about it. I think I got so used to him being by my side at every single IVF appointment. I assured him it was OK, and it was, but I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed he wasn’t there.

I wasn’t sure what to expect at this appointment. I thought I’d go in, undress and slide into the gown for my exam. But alas, I got to stay fully clothed this time. The nurse quickly found the heartbeat, a raging 146 bpm!! There was a lot of extra noise that she called “punches,” as if the baby were knocking on my stomach. It basically indicated there’s a lot of movement going on inside. It’s still kind of strange to me that there’s A PERSON inside my belly, a very active person, and yet I feel nothing. If I eat too many enchiladas I feel a lot of movement, you know?! But a whole baby and I’ve got nothing. Both the nurse and the doctor asked if I could feel anything yet and I said no. They explained it’s still too early, but maybe four weeks away from those first flutters. How exciting!

This appointment was the first time I’ve been able to answer “NO!” to the question “Do you have any bleeding?”. What a friggin’ relief. I’ve had some very mild spotting sporadically, but the scary six weeks of bleeding is OVER!!!

I got my H1N1 shot. Having had the “regular” flu shot about a month ago, this one was super easy. I felt no pain the following days. The other shot was just painful!

I also got clearance to start pre-natal yoga, which I did on Monday and LOVED!!!

Dr. W told me that we can likely find out the gender in early December, around my 20th week. That could be my next appointment. I think we’re still riding the fence a bit. The compulsive planner in both of us will likely take over and we’ll give in and find out, provided the little monster cooperates. There’s also something really special about saving it until the end. I mean, you don’t buy a book and immediately read the last paragraph. You don’t fast-forward a movie to the last five minutes. You anxiously ride it out. But while I’m watching a movie I don’t have a room to paint and clothes to buy. So alas, we’ll probably cave.

Not likely to be the last time this set of parents caves!