Posts Tagged ‘male factor infertility’

Feels like the first time

Friday, May 16th, 2008

I was having lunch yesterday with a friend. Our paths cross occasionally and it’s always nice to catch up. She politely asked how things were going with BabyorBust and I got her up to speed on the site and our plans. She then told me that she and her husband had just found out the day before that due to male-factor, they were finding themselves in this infertility boat. I always hate hearing that. It’s like, ugh!, why one more?!

She and her husband are about the same age we are, so I’m glad they were able to catch this now instead of even five or ten years down the road. I feel like the options play to your favor a bit more when you’re younger. I’m already freaked out that my boobs are going to sag and I found my first wrinkle… let’s not talk about what else happens after I turn 30! (more…)

Mommy, where does male infertility come from?

Monday, March 17th, 2008

When a mommy and daddy love each other very much…. OK I’m kidding.

I found this article that sheds a little more light on the origins of male infertility, which is the cause for 25% of all infertility cases. Apparently it starts very early in the womb, within the first 12 weeks. During this time, the hormone levels in the womb can determine “common genital disorders, low sperm count and testicular cancer.”

This fits right in with what Shelton and I were told for his infertility. He has a natural vasectomy, basically. The Vas Defrens never developed fully into a tube, it’s just a piece of tissue. Our doctor explained that this is most commonly caused by being a carrier for cystic fibrosis.

I took a blood test, an expensive blood test that fortunately at the time was still covered by insurance, to see if I was a carrier of the gene. It was negative. So we did not spend the money to test Shelton because having only one of us as a carrier meant we would not give birth to a child with CF.

CF Free

Saturday, August 12th, 2006

I got the results of my Cystic Fibrosis test this week- it was negative. Good to know. This means we won’t do the test on Shelton and save ourselves $180.

This is fantastic news!

Holding Pattern

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

Yes, I have not been on here in about a week. I wish like hell there were something new and interesting to report, but there’s not. I wish that because I feel like we’d be a step closer.

It’s been three weeks since we went to the doctor and I had my Cystic Fibrosis test done. We’ve since been billed the $189, but have not gotten any results. Seems a little backwards. And while I trust the old saying that no news is good news, I’d still like to hear it. So I’m going to call tomorrow to see what the results show. Surely it doesn’t take more than three weeks.

We also heard back from Shelton’s urologist’s office last week with some initial costs for his MESA procedure (whereby the remove the sperm). This will be much cheaper than the original estimate we were given. But before I can finalize the numbers, I need to call the anesthesiologist and the cryo-freezing place and get costs. We’ll have to freeze Shelton’s sperm until we’re ready to use in February. We won’t be able to move forward with this procedure until we have the cash we need. While all of you have been wildly generous, we’re still short the funds we’ll need for this first procedure.

We continue having the financial discussion and how we’re going to pay for this. We’ve made many sacrifices and continue to cut corners wherever we can. Of course, it’s not any fun and few of us like giving up things. But it’s all very worth it and I’m so sure that we’ll get there.

Hopefully, I’ll find out some answers this week and feel a teensy bit closer.

Trip to the Doctor

Friday, July 21st, 2006

Yesterday we went to see Dr. T at the clinic. It’s the first time Shelton has been in since our initial visit. We were primarily there to follow-up on my ovarian cysts and see how they were doing, but also had gone to see Shelton’s urologist an hour before and it was our “where do we go from here” appointment.

All in all, I think it was a great visit. We really felt like we had a chance to sit with Dr. T and ask a lot of questions and get more definitive direction on where we’re headed.

First off, yesterday was my birthday and I tell you there is no greater gift than a trip to the gyno before you’ve had lunch. They say the best gifts come in the smallest packages. (ha!) During my pelvic ultrasound, it appears that my cysts continue to grow, while ever so slightly. He is determined to keep me out of the O.R., which I appreciate. I also discussed the fact that while my periods have been normal my entire life, the past two months I’ve had a 10 day and a 15 day period. What the heck is up with that?! During the ultrasound he found what appears to be a polyp on my uterus and thinks that could possibly be the source of the additional bleeding. He wants me to have one more cycle in August and if it is abnormal at all, I’ll go back and see where we go from there. It sounds like if I’m off then I’ve won a pass straight to the operating room. Luckily, this surgery is covered under our insurance as a gynecological problem.

We also talked to him about our IVF. He told us to sign up for the IVF class that the nurses put on and explains all the details. Ours is scheduled for a Saturday in September. We’ll of course share everything we learn.

I also did the cystic fibrosis test. This is an optional blood test, but one I guess I wanted to have done. We learned that 4% of the US population carries the gene. If I’m a carrier for the gene, then they’ll test Shelton. If I’m not a carrier, then we don’t really need to know about Shelton one way or another. If Shelton and I are both carriers- then we’re left with a really tough question, because there is a greater likelihood we’ll pass on the gene and our child will be born with CF. We’re left to ask if we still want to proceed. My initial thought is that most couples don’t ever have this test and run the risk. I don’t know. Just one more of the really tough questions we’ve been faced with and we’ll have to give it some educated thought and see what we decide. I should have my results next week.

All in all, I think we had a good visit yesterday. We’re in a holding pattern for now until our September class, unless my cyst-tastic body decides to not get any better!


Thursday, July 6th, 2006

We definitely have a lot of ground to cover. I really regret not journaling all of the events of the past six months and having them stockpiled for the site. But I didn’t.

While Shelton and I have now reached a point where more days are spent laughing and joking about the situation we’re in than not, the first few weeks were probably some of the darkest I’ve ever experienced. If that is what depression feels like, I want no part of that, thank you very much.

There were a lot of unanswered questions at the beginning- the biggest of which was if we’d even be able to have children. My request for a puppy increased daily! There were a lot of nights spent in a completely dark house, no dinner- just sitting together silently, crying, talking. Neither of us knew how to make the other feel better.

When we’d finally gotten the “diagnosis” and referred to the fertility specialist, Dr. T, it was another 6 weeks before we’d have any finality to these questions. I finally told Shelton I was done crying about it. There was nothing we could do and we’re just making it worse for ourselves. We kept telling each other we were so sorry- and I said no more apologies. It wasn’t like one of us had done this on purpose. It’s nature… and she is a bitch sometimes! At that point we were still under the belief that we’d do artificial and be done with it. We had no idea IVF was the way.

Following that first appointment we set out to build this site and I dumped all of my energy into that. I soon realized that I wasn’t sleeping, my body was aching all the time, I was probably eating more than I should and I had not cried. When I was called out at work for not caring anymore I kind of woke up from my haze. I love my work and I wear that on my sleeve and if that was suffering then I needed to kick myself in the ass. I apparently also where every ounce of my emotions on my sleeve.

So I figured it out- I hadn’t given this infertility situation the proper attention it needed. In a sense, there was a mourning process that needed to occur and I wasn’t letting that happen. As part of that, not crying was huge for me. I cry every time Ty gets the keys on Extreme Home Makeover. But not being able to conceive my babies- that left me completely dry.

Finally, Mother’s Day came around. We spent the afternoon with my family- my mom, aunts and grandmother. All of us celebrating the amazing things they had done for each of us. And I wanted that so badly. I wanted to be holding my baby and soaking up the fact that I too had joined this elite club of moms.

Shelton and I had driven separately that day. I no sooner left my aunt’s neighborhood and I just practically collapsed behind the steering wheel. The tears came so suddenly and with such force. I probably should have pulled over. But nothing beats a good cry at 65 on the highway… right girls? I bawled the entire way home and I thanked God for finally letting it happen. It felt so good, refreshing.

I woke up the next day and it felt as though the air had cleared and I could now approach this with a clear head and do what needed to be done. I haven’t cried since then, but I haven’t needed to.

Not to say there haven’t been bad days since… and I know there are plenty ahead. But for now, I’ve made a “little” peace with the situation and I’ve said you are not going to take me down with you.