A friend at MLJAdoptions.com in Indianapolis is doing research on embryo donation for an article. If you are interested in speaking to Brooke Randolph as a source to share your story, on either side of embryo donation, please respond to her via email at brooke at mljadoptions DOT COM.
Thanks!
This is ridiculous! As I was chatting with a fellow infertility friend that this is such an injustice. This man is overweight so London won’t approve his ability to adopt. Are you kidding me? He’s probably far more qualified to be a father than the skinny people I see driving with their kids out of a car seat or seat belt, smoking with their kids in the room, who beat and abandon their children. UGH! Down right infuriating.
You can read the whole story about the man Britain says is too fat to adopt here. I hope for his own health he’s able to lose the weight, and even more so, I hope he and his wife are able to become parents.
I thought this was a really interesting article– and one that really took me by surprise.
The CDC looked at recent adoption figures and says that men are two times as likely to adopt than women. The report says 2.3% of men and 1.1% of women in America have adopted. My initial thought was- men often marry women with children and adopt them as their own. And I love being right… that’s what the article says! Another trend that appears to be rising is adoption by same-sex couples. Since gay women have the option to carry their own children, gay men have no other choice but to adopt if they want a family.
Another statistic this article points out is that black Americans are more likely to adopt than white. The broad majority of both black and white adopters would accept a child of another race.
Here’s a snippet from the article about the “ideal” child women would like to adopt:
“The CDC survey asked women seeking to adopt what they wanted in a child. The preferred child is younger than 2 years old, free of disabilities, and is an only child. Women would prefer to adopt a girl rather than a boy.” That said, 90% would accept a child with minor disabilities, 79% would accept a child aged 2-5, 75% would accept siblings. More than 60% of women would not take a child over the age of 13, nor would they take a child with severe disabilities.
These are interesting facts. More so to me as the adoption conversation is one that has occurred more and more frequently. We agree that we want to be parents, so if we find our way to our baby through adoption or IVF, we’ll be parents either way. Adoption would possibly satisfy our urge to be parents much more quickly. Given the government rebates and employer reimbursement- the cost to us would be minimal. There’s still a lot of soul-searching to be done… it’s something we’ve always talked about doing even before the infertility. I think we’re set on a course now for actionable decisions though.
A friend forwarded a link today to this story, about an Ohio couple trying to adopt. They are selling some tickets on EBay for prime seats to this Saturday’s Michigan/Ohio game so that they can raise the money they need for their expensive adoption… as all adoptions are so expensive.
I applaud their wonderful idea and hope that they fetch a very pretty penny for those tickets, and get that much closer to their baby.
I’ve been all over the internet and Ebay today trying to find the auction page or a site with contact information. I’d love to make a donation in BabyOrBust’s name… since I don’t really need football tickets. If this couple or someone who knows them sees this, or you have a link, please send it to us. We’d love to get in touch with them.
Bravo to more creative efforts to raise money for having babies!!!
Something we discussed very early on and is often the subject of many questions we’re asked is adoption. It’s something I’d never really given much thought to, but the second we learned of our infertility it immediately showed up on my radar.
Early on we agreed if we aren’t able to have children of our own, we will definitely pursue adoption. Our families have been on the giving and receiving sides of adoption- so it’s not something we’re unfamiliar with. And we’ve seen first hand the joy and love that these babies bring to their new parents, and vice versa.
Shelton and I talked on the way home from that visit where we learned that we’d have to do IVF and he asked me why would we even pursue this, why not just go straight for adoption. But I knew we had to give our baby a chance. I know somewhere out there our baby is waiting for us- and I have to do everything within my power to get it here. And if we’ve exhausted that possibility, look out adoption- here we come.
I do have a greater respect for people who have both given their babies for adoption and those who have brought them home as their own. I’m beginning to learn that is one of the most loving and selfless acts a person can do. But like I said, I’m just not ready to give up on the possibility of little Brandi/Shelton baby. The odds are stacked in our favor for the best outcome with IVF and we’re hanging on to that hope. Right now, it’s all we’ve got.
Thank you to everyone who has written to us with this question. We hope this will help answer that question.
Please see the FAQ section to see what we’ve written about this subject.