Shelton & Brandi

Hello! We're Brandi & Shelton Koskie. Since 2006 we’ve been one of the many couples on the In Vitro Fertilization journey. We were the first IVF fundraiser blog, and thanks to the generous help of many, in we had our first successful IVF attempt. Nine months later, we had a beautiful girl, Paisley. You’re invited to follow along on our journey from infertility to parenthood.  Learn more

Babies Everywhere

Babies are poppin’ up around here like zits in a high school. They are positively everywhere. Everywhere I go, everyone I see either has them, just had them or is awaiting their arrival.

People always ask me if it bothers me or tell me they won’t talk about their kids in front of me. Really, it doesn’t bother me. I love being around them. In small doses.

This past weekend- not a small dose. We went to visit Shelton’s family in Oklahoma City. It’s a quick 2.5 hours from here. Once we arrive, we park the car and they generously tote us around and keep us fed until it’s time to go. This weekend there was our nephew, Shelton’s brother’s 2 month old. Then there were the Dallas cousins’ two kiddos, 8 months and 2 years. Then dinner w/ the other cousins and their three kids- 2, 5 and 10. BABIES EVERYWHERE!!!

And while I”m not sad, I love every minute I’m with my nephew- after all, he is the love of my life! But there is always this lingering pit in my stomach. This annoying, nagging little sensation in my stomach that is just yearning to call one of them my own. I usually tell people that my ovaries are beating much like my heart would- bom-bom, bom-bom.

I know a lot of people struggle with being around other babies and children. And I can certainly understand the feeling. But I guess I find a little bit of hope in it. I love being around them- their smell, the way you can practically feel your blood pressure drop when you hold them, the absolutely darling things they say and do. They’re just perfect in everyway.

Last night after work, I went over to a friends house who had just had twin girls last month. She and her husband let me snuggle with them and they are perfect little angels. I watch them manage these two little baby girls (I say manage because it is a full time job) and think- oh my! What if I get twins?! Definitely get my money’s worth I say. Everytime I leave I tell them how beautiful those girls are (and they are!!) and how blessed they are to have them.

So, keep those babies comin’. I love it! Just one at a time, single file.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey and Koskie Life

Holding Pattern

Yes, I have not been on here in about a week. I wish like hell there were something new and interesting to report, but there’s not. I wish that because I feel like we’d be a step closer.

It’s been three weeks since we went to the doctor and I had my Cystic Fibrosis test done. We’ve since been billed the $189, but have not gotten any results. Seems a little backwards. And while I trust the old saying that no news is good news, I’d still like to hear it. So I’m going to call tomorrow to see what the results show. Surely it doesn’t take more than three weeks.

We also heard back from Shelton’s urologist’s office last week with some initial costs for his MESA procedure (whereby the remove the sperm). This will be much cheaper than the original estimate we were given. But before I can finalize the numbers, I need to call the anesthesiologist and the cryo-freezing place and get costs. We’ll have to freeze Shelton’s sperm until we’re ready to use in February. We won’t be able to move forward with this procedure until we have the cash we need. While all of you have been wildly generous, we’re still short the funds we’ll need for this first procedure.

We continue having the financial discussion and how we’re going to pay for this. We’ve made many sacrifices and continue to cut corners wherever we can. Of course, it’s not any fun and few of us like giving up things. But it’s all very worth it and I’m so sure that we’ll get there.

Hopefully, I’ll find out some answers this week and feel a teensy bit closer.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey

Free IVF

We received a donation tonight from an organization called Free IVF dot com. We’d yet to hear about or find this site. They raise money and offer it to other couples facing IVF. This is one of our goals, and something we’ve already done once. Fantastic! I’m so glad to have found this site.

They also have a place where you can sign a national petition encouraging Congress to pass legislation to require insurance coverage- I strongly encourage you to sign it by clicking here.

A HUGE thank you to the generous folks at Free IVF.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Resources

No Room for Seconds

They say God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle, and I truly believe that. But I’m sending this as a message to God- my plate is seriously full. I’ve got no room for anything else, even gravy will crack the plate. And I hate gravy anyway so save it for someone else.

There is the constant stress and anxiety of this whole baby situation- constantly stressing, questioning, wondering, hoping. Work has been a little topsy-turvy lately, but I’m bending with that and rather enjoying the changes taking place. I’m the kind of person who breaks out in hives when change occurs. But I’m past that now. I’m ok.

This week some rather serious stuff has happened with my family and I’m just trying to roll with it. It’s a pretty bumpy roll- imagine rolling a square down the side of a mountain. More of a tumble than a roll, wouldn’t you say? There are a number of other things going on right now that are just so out of my hands. I’m really trying to be strong and take it and continue moving forward. But it’s so hard.

My whole life I’ve been like the glue in situations. At least that’s what everyone around me says. So I believe them. But I told Shelton the other night that I’m ready to just be one of the chunky parts that gets to fall off. I didn’t ask to be the tough one, but I guess that’s my job and I have to take it. One more thing God has placed on my plate.

Ok, so what does this have to do w/ my IVF story? Stress, pretty much. I was thinking this weekend how I could just feel through my entire body the stress- the stress of so many different things. I remember reading in “A Few Good Eggs” how so many women let the stress get the better of them and it wrecked their IVF attempts. I refuse to let that happen.

I know all of these events are a test. Testing my spirit, my strength, my heart, my will. And I know I’m going to pass, because I always pass, and I don’t accept any less than that from myself. But why now?

So, while I continue to deal and move through the many things I have going on, including the IVF and infertility, I’m going to work so hard to keep a clear and open mind. I’ve taken quite a hiatus from the gym and can definitely feel, and see, the effects of that. I start going back on Tuesday and I really hope that time will help. I’ve also decided to nix fast food from my diet. And having already cut out pop about 2 years ago, I’m going to up my already heavy intake of water. All of this can only do my body some good. And hopefully flush some of the preventable toxins from my body- and with it take the environmental toxins with it.

A good friend told me a few weeks ago that life keeps throwing me all these lemons, and somehow I keep making the sweetest lemonade. I’m so glad that’s how other people see me handling all these situations. I’m so blessed that my family is pulling together and we’re working through this time as a family. I have incredible friends, and as always, my husband is just a constant rock.

Thanks again to all of you for your support of BabyOrBust and our story. Your many emails and letters of encouragement and support mean the world.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey and Koskie Life

CNN Article about IVF Finances

My brother found this article on CNN Money. It’s about a couple going through IVF and the expenses involved. They offered a few tips that Shelton and I hadn’t really even thought about and thought we’d share with the rest of our little IVF club.

The four tips are as follows, but follow the above link to read the complete article.

FINANCIAL AID for Prospective Parents

1. Check your insurance for exclusions.
If your policy doesn’t mention your treatment by name and your claim is denied, you have strong grounds for an appeal. “If it’s not specifically excluded, it’s an implied inclusion,” says Pat Ferguson, an infertility medical billing expert.

2. Know what you’re entitled to.
Insurers often cover diagnostics. If you’re not reimbursed for tests, fight back. Infertility is the symptom of a medical problem, so you can make a compelling argument that testing for, say, endometriosis or fibroid tumors should be covered.

3. Carefully compare financing options.
Many infertility centers offer payment plans through third parties. Make sure you know exactly what’s covered and what’s not. Medications and pregnancy testing, for instance, are often excluded. “Shared risk” programs offer up to 100% refunds to qualified women if pregnancy is not achieved, but you may be charged twice as much for that money-back guarantee.

4. Check state laws.
Fourteen states require health insurers to cover infertility treatment (for the list, go to resolve.org, click on “Learn” and then click on “Insurance Coverage”). But there are caveats aplenty. For example, the laws don’t necessarily require employers to pay for the coverage, and all exempt self-insured plans. Before you forge ahead medically on the strength of state laws, read your policy’s fine print.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF and Infertility News

Trip to the Doctor

Yesterday we went to see Dr. T at the clinic. It’s the first time Shelton has been in since our initial visit. We were primarily there to follow-up on my ovarian cysts and see how they were doing, but also had gone to see Shelton’s urologist an hour before and it was our “where do we go from here” appointment.

All in all, I think it was a great visit. We really felt like we had a chance to sit with Dr. T and ask a lot of questions and get more definitive direction on where we’re headed.

First off, yesterday was my birthday and I tell you there is no greater gift than a trip to the gyno before you’ve had lunch. They say the best gifts come in the smallest packages. (ha!) During my pelvic ultrasound, it appears that my cysts continue to grow, while ever so slightly. He is determined to keep me out of the O.R., which I appreciate. I also discussed the fact that while my periods have been normal my entire life, the past two months I’ve had a 10 day and a 15 day period. What the heck is up with that?! During the ultrasound he found what appears to be a polyp on my uterus and thinks that could possibly be the source of the additional bleeding. He wants me to have one more cycle in August and if it is abnormal at all, I’ll go back and see where we go from there. It sounds like if I’m off then I’ve won a pass straight to the operating room. Luckily, this surgery is covered under our insurance as a gynecological problem.

We also talked to him about our IVF. He told us to sign up for the IVF class that the nurses put on and explains all the details. Ours is scheduled for a Saturday in September. We’ll of course share everything we learn.

I also did the cystic fibrosis test. This is an optional blood test, but one I guess I wanted to have done. We learned that 4% of the US population carries the gene. If I’m a carrier for the gene, then they’ll test Shelton. If I’m not a carrier, then we don’t really need to know about Shelton one way or another. If Shelton and I are both carriers- then we’re left with a really tough question, because there is a greater likelihood we’ll pass on the gene and our child will be born with CF. We’re left to ask if we still want to proceed. My initial thought is that most couples don’t ever have this test and run the risk. I don’t know. Just one more of the really tough questions we’ve been faced with and we’ll have to give it some educated thought and see what we decide. I should have my results next week.

All in all, I think we had a good visit yesterday. We’re in a holding pattern for now until our September class, unless my cyst-tastic body decides to not get any better!

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey