No Room for Seconds

July 30th, 2006

They say God doesn’t give us any more than we can handle, and I truly believe that. But I’m sending this as a message to God- my plate is seriously full. I’ve got no room for anything else, even gravy will crack the plate. And I hate gravy anyway so save it for someone else.

There is the constant stress and anxiety of this whole baby situation- constantly stressing, questioning, wondering, hoping. Work has been a little topsy-turvy lately, but I’m bending with that and rather enjoying the changes taking place. I’m the kind of person who breaks out in hives when change occurs. But I’m past that now. I’m ok.

This week some rather serious stuff has happened with my family and I’m just trying to roll with it. It’s a pretty bumpy roll- imagine rolling a square down the side of a mountain. More of a tumble than a roll, wouldn’t you say? There are a number of other things going on right now that are just so out of my hands. I’m really trying to be strong and take it and continue moving forward. But it’s so hard.

My whole life I’ve been like the glue in situations. At least that’s what everyone around me says. So I believe them. But I told Shelton the other night that I’m ready to just be one of the chunky parts that gets to fall off. I didn’t ask to be the tough one, but I guess that’s my job and I have to take it. One more thing God has placed on my plate.

Ok, so what does this have to do w/ my IVF story? Stress, pretty much. I was thinking this weekend how I could just feel through my entire body the stress- the stress of so many different things. I remember reading in “A Few Good Eggs” how so many women let the stress get the better of them and it wrecked their IVF attempts. I refuse to let that happen.

I know all of these events are a test. Testing my spirit, my strength, my heart, my will. And I know I’m going to pass, because I always pass, and I don’t accept any less than that from myself. But why now?

So, while I continue to deal and move through the many things I have going on, including the IVF and infertility, I’m going to work so hard to keep a clear and open mind. I’ve taken quite a hiatus from the gym and can definitely feel, and see, the effects of that. I start going back on Tuesday and I really hope that time will help. I’ve also decided to nix fast food from my diet. And having already cut out pop about 2 years ago, I’m going to up my already heavy intake of water. All of this can only do my body some good. And hopefully flush some of the preventable toxins from my body- and with it take the environmental toxins with it.

A good friend told me a few weeks ago that life keeps throwing me all these lemons, and somehow I keep making the sweetest lemonade. I’m so glad that’s how other people see me handling all these situations. I’m so blessed that my family is pulling together and we’re working through this time as a family. I have incredible friends, and as always, my husband is just a constant rock.

Thanks again to all of you for your support of BabyOrBust and our story. Your many emails and letters of encouragement and support mean the world.