Shelton & Brandi

Hello! We're Brandi & Shelton Koskie. Since 2006 we’ve been one of the many couples on the In Vitro Fertilization journey. We were the first IVF fundraiser blog, and thanks to the generous help of many, in we had our first successful IVF attempt. Nine months later, we had a beautiful girl, Paisley. You’re invited to follow along on our journey from infertility to parenthood.  Learn more

Pregnancy Week 8

Well, if I didn’t feel pregnant before, week eight brought all the symptoms with it like a bad Kansas storm. I’m flat out miserable.

Thursday we went in for my final sonogram and thrilled to see the baby doing exactly what it is supposed to be doing. The doctor said the baby is “textbook normal.” It looks like a gummy bear! After about six sonograms, we brought home our first baby-like picture. It definitely looks like a gummy bear with an odd-shaped head and four tiny but distinguishable limbs. (It has four limbs!!) We also saw the umbilical cord for the first time and, don’t ask me why, but that kind of made me feel pregnant like nothing else has. Heartbeat was raging and the little booger is about 2 cm.

Other than that, I have nothing positive to say about this week. We were released from our fertility clinic (cry!). And I’ve been sick.

Everything stinks. Smells, no matter how truly unoffensive, turn my stomach. I’m so nauseous all the time, and most of the time eating something is the one thing that will fix it. But it’s getting past the mental block of that looks gross, smells gross, sounds gross that is the biggest problem. Shelton made a plain ‘ole turkey sandwich for me and when he handed the plate over I wanted to throw up. It just looked horrendous. Very few things sound good to me and the only things that I can really stomach seems to be an ever-shortening list. What I’m about to share with you I’m not proud of. If you’ve read this site for any length of time you’ll know that I’m very proud of the way we eat. All very balanced, whole foods. We eat very little processed, boxed, canned junk. What I’m finding though is all of that stuff turns my stomach and all I can truly stomach are things I haven’t eaten in years. Stuff that is NOT good for me – but at least I’m eating??
> Pizza. I could eat this three meals a day and I’m making Papa Johns very happy this month.
> Doritos. Nacho cheese only please. Any time of day will do.
> Mac N Cheese. Not my usual homemade gooey goodness, but straight from the box with all its factory toxicity.
> Whole Grain Goldfish. Those crackers are saving my life one at a time.
> Baked potatoes.
> Powerade.
> Milk. I’ve never in my life drank milk except to accompany cereal or a baked good. Now, I’ll just get a glass and suck it down.
> PB and crackers.
> Apples.
> Chicken strips.
> Toast.

Those are all things that I can pretty much stomach any time of day without any complaints. The common denominator? Starch. I know it’s different for everyone, but starches seem to be what’s keeping me satisfied. And half of that ends up coming right back up anyway.

My doctor did prescribe Zofran for nausea. I got the generic, which was $120 out of pocket after insurance. ($600 without insurance!! OMG!!) I really can’t say if it’s helping or not yet. I spent all day on a day trip to OKC that was not my best idea. Being in that car for six hours only made things worse, and while I’m glad we got to be there for our niece’s first birthday, I was sick as a dog all day. Today I’ve been in bed all day sleeping on/off. For what we paid though we’ll pretend that it’s working miracles.

I’m also totally falling for my husband all over again. (I know, gag!) I love that we’re FINALLY having this baby together and the way we exchange these long glances that I don’t know that we ever have before. He’s been positively amazing this week in spite of trying not to lose his mind playing the pregnant whim dance. “I’m hungry.” “OK what do you want.” “I don’t know.” “What sounds good?” “Nothing.” “How about X?” “Gross!” And so on. He’s just amazingly supportive and kind and – he’s everything he is every other day of the week and maybe I’m just being more appreciative.

Finally, we ended our IVF this week. We were released from the clinic, and last night I took my LAST SHOT!!!! NO MORE NEEDLES!!!! That alone will make me feel so much better.

So here we go in to week 9.

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey and Pregnancy

Pregnancy Quote of the Week – Week 8

A couple of doozies from our pregnancy conversations last week.

One night last week I had a bout of the infamous pregnancy gas. I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is. While Shelton was complaining…

Brandi: Shelton, fellatio is just a part of pregnancy.
Shelton: (Big Eyes!)
Brandi: (Laughing) I mean, flatulence. NOT fellatio!

Then Friday was probably the most miserable day of this entire pregnancy. So in a sweet attempt to make it better…

Shelton: Let me know if there is anything I can do.
Brandi: Be pregnant.

Written by Brandi and posted under Pregnancy

A Bittersweet Farewell

I knew going in to the clinic this morning for my sonogram that it would likely be my last. Not my last sonogram, but my last trip to the clinic. Today was my last scheduled appointment and I couldn’t imagine any reason they’d keep me after this. And that’s exactly what happened.

Dr. T came in to do my exam and upon finding that everything is “textbook normal” and saying we have every reason to believe this is going to go the way we want it to, he said he couldn’t see a reason for us to come back. Not in a bad way, just that we’d accomplished the goal. I’m pregnant, and it’s time to go to my OB.

It might sound stupid but I’ve been preparing myself for this release back in to the wild for a few weeks now. I cannot express how much I love this practice, my doctor, the nurses, the staff. I’ve never in my life worked with a better medical practice and the thought of leaving them breaks (broke) my heart.

So Dr. T turned to Shelton and shook his hand, gave him a hearty congratulations, and then turned to me and where there would usually be a handshake, there was a hug. And I’ve wanted to hug this man for so long and tell him that there are no words to express how eternally grateful I am for 3.5 years of care and attention… and let’s not forget helping me get pregnant!

Part of it is probably the intimate nature of what we’re working on here. I mean, this is a fertility doctor. And I’ve never had to see a doctor for anything much more than a cough, cold or annual exam. This is the person who had to help me start a family. So maybe some shrink will tell you that that’s part of it. But I will tell you that it’s because I’ve never had the pleasure of working with a better doctor. He’s kind and professional, never speaks down to you yet speaks in a way that helps you understand these complex medical procedures, is reassuring and honest, and in general makes me trust him like no other doctor.  If you’re in a room with him, you’ll never feel like there is a single other patient, task, surgery or appointment waiting on him. It’s you and him, and you’ll feel like you have all the time in the world. I don’t know if it’s this way for other patients, but he’s the only doctor I ever worked with there. He’s amazing – and if I had to pay $20,000 for IVF, and have him as my doctor, then I’ll say a good chunk of it was worth it.

Before we left the exam room Dr. T invited me back when I’ve got a big ‘ole buddha belly and check-in with everyone. They can count on it!

I then went in to the hall and “B” the office manager, another stellar member of their staff, asked if I were going to see them again and I pouted and told her no. And she said something about me being a baby bird flying from the nest, and I was all, but I like the nest. Please keep me! We also had a hug and goodbye with “M” and that one was equally as hard as Dr. T. I saw her and spoke to her more in the last five months than I did the doctor. And again, a truly top-notch person and hands-down the best nurse I’ve ever had. I think I can say that aside from Shelton, I couldn’t have done this without her. For one, she knows her stuff and even my most inane questions were thoroughly, carefully answered. She always had, or at least made, time for me. And let’s not overlook the fact that she’s genuinely like talking to a girlfriend.

We bid farewell to everyone and left and I cried a little when we got outside. Shelton laughed and said he felt like we were at my college graduation.

I just wish I could stay with them until the baby gets here. But that’s not what they do. And I’m leaving feeling completely confident that they did what they do very, very well.

So thanks to the entire staff at our clinic for making one of the most difficult trials of our life so much easier, more comfortable, manageable, and let’s not forget successful!

Written by Brandi and posted under IVF Journey

The Pregnancy Gag Reflex

One of things that I’m beginning to enjoy about this pregnancy is my heightened sense of smell and my hyper-sensitive gag reflex. And by enjoy, I mean not enjoy.

I can smell everything, and for the most part it’s OK. But then there are those times where OH MY GOD DO YOU HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO ME AND DRINK A RUM AND COKE BECAUSE THAT REEKS!!!

Or how last night I’m standing in line at the grocery store, minding my own business, when it’s all I can do to not throw-up on the cashier because the woman behind me sets down a styrofoam box full of Chinese food from the deli. I nearly asked her to go to a different line, and had to hold my shirt sleeve to my face just to get out of there without heaving.

Or last week, when we’re sitting on the deck, and Shelton decides to turn on the gas grill to burn off the remnants of our last meal. And that smell? Oh that smell! More like stench! I made him turn it off immediately and had to go inside.

I walked into our house this morning after having made turkey sausage for breakfast and felt ill. There was something in the air in the basement a couple of nights ago that only I could smell and only I could not get away from. And so on…

And I’ve always been weird about food texture, but moreso now. I threw-up a banana this morning because the mushy texture hit the back of my throat and my esophagus said “don’t even THINK about swallowing that! It’s gross.” A BANANA!

It’s just so strange all the different ways the body changes to adapt to being pregnant. Who knew you had to smell more to grow a baby?

Written by Brandi and posted under Pregnancy

Pregnancy Week 7

So I decided that instead of doing my weekly pregnancy updates at the start of the week I would do them at the end – that way I can capture what happened in that week. So this week is my eighth week, and I want to talk about the seventh.

I’m still hungry. All the time. Around the clock. Hunger has just become a part of who I am. I joke that I haven’t felt full since August 15. Unlike previous weeks I’ve reached a point where I’m so unbelievably, nauseatingly hungry and yet there is nothing that sounds good to me. Shelton made a turkey sandwich for me last night and I really thought I was going to puke in my lap. It looked horrendous. And sadly the things that do sound edible to me, are things I should not want to eat. I want a lot of pizza. Potato chips and macaroni and cheese and blah blah blah. I’m really trying to limit this stuff – but when it’s the only thing I can or want to eat I guess I’m justifying it.

We went camping this past weekend and I literally ate for four solid hours. If I wasn’t eating, I was fighting off nausea and trying not to get sick in front of our friends in the woods. So from 8:30 a.m. to noon I had an apple, three glasses of OJ, a peanut butter sandwich, eggs, bacon, ham, goldfish crackers, a banana, a turkey and swiss sandwich, cucumber slices and bbq potato chips. I don’t even know how many calories that is. But after that four hour binge I felt fine the rest of the day.

So on that note, I think my fairy tale of no morning sickness is over. The latter part of last week I started getting hit with bouts of nausea. It’s awful. I can’t think of many things I hate more than being nausea. And this lasts for hours! And it’s not necessarily morning sickness, it’s just pregnancy sickness and it comes any ‘ole time it wants. Yesterday, the start of week 8, it hit me hard. I’d felt fine all day, got home from camping, took a shower and a nap, and then got very sick and lost everything I’d eaten all day. I was out the rest of the evening. Today, I pretty much fought nausea all day long, but never got sick.

I also had to start a “these pants don’t fit pile.” Probably more to blame on my eating habits than the baby, but either way, those particular khaki shorts have been removed from circulation.

We had a sonogram last week and the little baby is just growing rapidly. It’s positively fascinating to watch this baby grow. It was up to 1.2 cm on Thursday with 154bpm for the heartbeat. It also has a head now! With what I’m calling a snout. Doc says the baby is where it should be for this point in our pregnancy.

Written by Brandi and posted under Pregnancy

Feeding the Ravenous Pregnancy Hunger

I can’t even put into words how much I’m eating. Probably because my mouth is full of food. It’s been like this since the week before the pregnancy test. Shelton’s growing more concerned he can’t afford to feed me. I’m just growing more concerned I’ll keep finding food sources. For the most part, as I’ve said on here several times, I eat a very balanced, nutritious diet. Lately, I’ve given in to a few twinges for things that are rarely on my menu. Like beef tacos. And pizza. Twice. This weekend. Oh wait, make that three times.

Saturday was the kick-off of college football season. I am not a fair weather fan, but let me say that my OU Sooners let me down. Let me down hard. I’ve been anticipating football season since, oh, January! Why can’t football season last as long as lame basketball season or baseball season, both of which seem to go on for-ev-er! As the weather took a quick turn in to fall last week (usually Wichita holds out until at least the day before Thanksgiving), I decided that we needed a pot of chili. My mom came over to watch the game with us and have some of my chili (because I’d be embarrassed if the two of us ate an entire Crock pot worth of chili). After dinner she told me we needed to get some junk food in the house. And I’m not lying, the best thing I could come up with was a can of Orange Crush a friend had brought to me a couple of months ago. Shelton and I laughed and told her this is our junk food – chili and cornbread.

So, I eat, around the clock it feels like. I wake up to my stomach growling. And until last week, I went to bed that way, too. I reached out to the DietsInReview.com dietitian, Rebecca Scritchfield, and explained my ravenous state. I told her that before bed I got another hunger surge, but I was afraid to eat right before bed. However, on the nights that I did I slept better and on the nights I didn’t, well, I didn’t sleep well. This is her advice, copied verbatim from an email, and I was so grateful to read this.

BK: My question is – is there something I can/should eat as a little snack to quench that hunger, should I just let it go? What’s a smart move here?

RS: Definitely eat a bedtime snack. My recommendation is to eat something that is high calories to satisfy you without a large volume of food. Second suggestion is bland BRAT (banana, rice, applesauce and toast) because they are easy on the GI. Start with banana and peanut butter (300 calories) or peanut butter and toast (also about 300 calories). It should not have you feeling too full.

This does not mean to have half a tub of peanut butter. It means a regular serving (a tablespooon I think) on a piece of whole grain toast. This is what I’ve been doing, with a small cup of skim milk. It fills me, satisfies me, and I sleep well. I still wake up hungry, but not ready to eat the down comforter.

Another conundrum I keep finding myself in is that I’m out and about and hunger strikes. Right now. This second. Feed me now or I will DIE! If you’ve ever had your blood sugar crash, it’s that exact feeling. Shaky, empty, feed me now anything! This weekend I made my own trail mix and got an air-tight reusable container to store it in. It fits in my purse, along with some Kashi granola bars. This way I’ve got a healthy, filling snack that I can take anywhere with me and I can munch on that to satiate for a little while. I made my own because 1) I don’t need the M&Ms, 2) I don’t need all that sodium, and 3) I don’t need the extra sugar. So here’s what I used in my homemade trail mix:

1 cup raw almonds
1 cup raw walnuts
1 cup raisins
1 cup Craisins
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

Feel free to use this and modify as you like. For the next batch I’ll probably add pistachios.

Basically, I eat when I’m hungry. I don’t gorge myself. I eat a normal meal at meal times and have smaller snacks throughout the day:
– Breakfast is a bowl of Raisin Bran or Cheerios or an egg white veggie omelet with a whole grain tortilla
– Lunch is a turkey sandwich with veggies on whole grain bread, leftovers from the night before, or a veggie quesadilla with salsa
– Dinner is ground turkey for pasta or tacos, grilled chicken with veggies, grilled fish with veggies and whole grain rice, veggie paninis

For snacks, I keep it pretty simple, and keep the house well stocked.
– A few pieces of light havarti cheese with multi-grain crackers
– Fresh fruit: apple/orange/banana/grapes
– a 0% fat Chobani Greek yogurt with fresh blueberries and/or almonds
– a handful of whole grain Goldfish
– blue corn chips and salsa

I really don’t want to gain more than the 35 pounds or so of recommended weight. So I’m trying to keep everything balanced and eat in moderation. Right now I feel like that’s an impossible task because I simply just keep eating. I even give myself some time – ask if I’m really hungry right now. I’ll sip on a glass of water for a few minutes and see if that won’t kill the urge. Sometimes it does, and sometimes I can literally hear my stomach bellow FEED ME NOW!

I’m also taking evening walks with Shelton – which is a great time for us to catch-up. It’s a moderate exercise that for my first trimester I’m comfortable with. I’m considering prenatal yoga once my second trimester starts.

Some of you might be giggling going – ahh, welcome to pregnancy. Hopefully some of you also find yourselves pregnant and hungry and this will help you navigate the pantry a little easier.

Written by Brandi and posted under Healthy Lifestyle and Pregnancy