I didn’t have any, I don’t think I slept well enough to do that. Instead, we lived the nightmare. One minor, not so much a nightmare but more like a “please just wake up now.” The other, a nightmare in every sense of the word.

I had a little energy stored up and a crucial need to just get out of the house, so I left Shelton here to work on homework and headed out to run a few errands. Less than a mile from home, I’m cruising down the road taking in a gorgeous spring evening. You know, windows and sunroof down, jams playing, just cruising along. When I realize my cruise is above the legal limit and the cop perched ahead is going to pull me over. And he did. And I immediately start crying. I’ve never cried in front of a cop in my life. But the hormones, they do what they want to do and I just have to sit back and let them. So I give him my license and insurance and he goes back to his car. He comes back and hands me a ticket. WHAT KIND OF COP GIVES A CRYING NINE-MONTHS PREGNANT WOMAN A TICKET?!?!

So I come home sobbing and Shelton leaps off the couch because all he can hear are my sniffles and starts going “no no no no no” and I couldn’t catch my breath to talk but I’m waving him down to suggest that no, I’m not in labor, I’m just a felon. I finally let him know that I got a ticket and he starts laughing and reassuring me that it’s not a big deal. Well, I’ve got $110 worth of no big deal! By that point I was starving so he consoled me with Abuelos. Yum.

We come home at 9:30 with bellies full of Mexican food and I’m already popping Tums (aka pregnancy candy) because I know what I’m in for during the night. Only, I didn’t know what I was in for. Because what happened last night has never happened to me ever in my entire life.

At 1:3o a.m. I bolted from a deep sleep, upright in bed gasping for air. I literally could not breathe. My lungs felt as if they were full of hot lava. Every few seconds I’d manage to gasp and catch a little air, and then all I was able to do was belch it out, one slow, tiny belch at a time. And then another very tiny worthless gasp of air. I was choking, coughing, burping and straining for every ounce of air I could grab. Shelton is of course awake now and freaking out. He kept asking me what was wrong but I couldn’t breathe, much less explain to him what was happening. And frankly, I had no idea what was happening to explain it. Without trying to be a drama queen and overexaggerate the situation, I’m telling you, I literally couldn’t breathe and I was certain that I might just die.

I’ve never been more frightened than I was last night. For all I know, that is what suffocating feels like and it was horrid. I made my way into the bathroom so I could hover over the sink and I got sick. So now I’m choking, coughing, burping and throwing up all with teaspoons of air. Finally, FINALLY, I was able to take a real breath and I swear had it not taken at that moment I was going to have Shelton call an ambulance.

It took 30 minutes to finally get back to being able to breathe fairly normally, and even that was interrupted with some pretty horrendous coughing. I was scared to death to lie back down. My best guess of what happened is that I had such bad reflux last night that I managed to choke on the acid. As in, inhaled in to my lungs and then nearly died trying to get it all out. I’m no doctor, but that’s what makes sense to me. I kept my head propped up and managed to drift back to sleep.

Today I’m exhausted. My stomach has been a bit queasy all day and my chest and throat hurt. But otherwise I’m fine.

So see, it was nightmare on our street last night!