Since all I ever do anymore is cry, I figure, why not go looking for reasons? I had two all-out, breakdown, hysterical sob fests yesterday. Why? Couldn’t even tell you now. Not a clue. I know that the tear stains on my glasses are probably never coming off.
Dear God, it’s me, Brandi, can I PLEASE have my hormones back?!
In any event, I was all of a sentence-and-a-half into this article when I started crying, because I could feel where it was going and it was already too much for my estrogen. It’s a wonderful must-read story about friendship and surrogacy. Everyone she have a friend like this.
I like to peruse the Yahoo! Shine homepage from time to time, as it’s like a juicy chick magazine without the Earth-killing paper waste and $3.50 fee.
One of the top stories today was this very interesting list about the things that can and can’t have an affect on your fertility.
Things that can prevent pregnancy / negatively influence fertility:
> History of STDs
> Recent DepoProvera
> Irregular cycles
> Overweight or Underweight
> Age (yes guys, there really is a biological clock. its ticks get slower after 30 and again after 35.)
> Not enough sex or too much sex
> Family history of infertility
Things that have no influence on fertility:
> How wet or dry you are (you know, down there)
> Sex positions
> Female orgasm
> Extended use of birth control
> The Herp
One of the co-authors of Budgeting for Infertility, Evelina Sterling, has contributed a post at DietsInReview.com discussing the influence of obesity in infertility. Maybe it’s not an obvious answer, but for some who are struggling to conceive, definitely consider not only your weight but that of your partner. Being overweight or obese has so many negative impacts on your body, that it should come as no surprise that your fertility could be impacted as well.
Unfortunately, it is not completely clear exactly how obesity affects fertility. It is a complex relationship that we are just beginning to understand. Still, the bottom line is the more you weigh, the less fertile you are. Most likely, the added pounds disrupt normal hormone production and prevent successful ovulation among women. For men, it can result in fewer and less quality sperm. In any case, the chances for fertilization are significantly lowered. And if both partners in a couple are overweight, they are even more likely to have to wait longer before conceiving a child.
I don’t think the “what the hell” spinning of my head has quite stopped yet. I found a news story this morning that said a group of 17 girls, none over age 16, in a Massachusetts high school made a pact to get pregnant. The girls wanted to be pregnant together and raise their babies together. This is so concerning on so many levels. I can’t imagine the impact this will have on their lives, their children’s lives and for those around them. I of course do not know them or their families, nor do I know anything outside of what the Yahoo news shared. So far be it from me to make ill informed assumptions and point fingers and call out everything that’s wrong about this. My first hope is for the safety and health of both the mothers and babies. You can’t help but wonder what kind of environment bred thinking that deems this appropriate. Media, family, school, etc. all play equally guilty roles. My second hope is that this story is told and it is shared to prevent another ludicrous pact like this being made.
This is one of those instances where I stand by my support of sex education. I was unbelievably fortunate to have parents who were very open and honest about educating me about sex, its consequences and my choices. I know that not all children and teens have this luxury. This is an example of where talking to your kids and presenting multi-dimensional perspectives can really help them make the best choices possible.
I haven’t run in to too many people lately who haven’t heard about Nadya Suleman and her eight pre-mature IVF babies. And the six she has at home. The one with autism. The welfare checks. How she lives with her mother. That the father isn’t involved. How she doesn’t have a job. Blah, blah blah. Anyone who hasn’t seen her story on the news, an entertainment show, a magazine or the Internet in the past month is quite certainly living under a dark, sound-proof rock.
I’m having trouble talking about this situation with even my husband because it’s so frustrating and for the most part anytime friends, family, strangers, etc. bring it up in conversation, I choose to practice my right to keep my damn mouth shut. I feel like I’d sound like a hypocrite. We’re similar because we’re both dieing to start a family and both have to rely on IVF to achieve that. We’re different in a lot of ways, too. That to me seem obvious.
The site Dooce.com is one of my favorites, I know I’ve mentioned her here before. She participates in a mommy-blogger Web group called Momversation, in which each contribute a video blog about a topic and discuss it. Often times it’s about sex after having a baby or the difference in being a mom vs. a wife (my sort of hard-knocks college where I’m earning a pre-mom in motherhood). This week’s convo discussed the ethics of planned multiples, with Ms. Suleman a hot target. I wanted to share it with you because the sentiment is expressed in a much more detached way that I feel I can politely convey myself.
They make a point in this video to say that because of this situation, it will make the judgment on other infertile couples that much worse. And it will. We’ve already been faced with some comments about the number of children we’ll deliver. I adamantly remind people that I have a responsible doctor who consistently urges me to only transfer a single embryo. No more. No less. While I’ve often hoped to have twins (one and done), when the time comes this July, I will likely follow my doctor’s instincts, ensuring the health of my baby and of my self. If I end up with two or six babies after that, then it must have been willed that way by someone or something far greater than me.
And, another point mentioned in the video, reproduction is an excruciatingly personal situation. How I choose to bring my offspring into this world is my business. How you choose to do so is yours. And how Nadya chose to do so is hers. It’s a very, very thin and steep line we’re all dancing off regarding infertility, multiple births and Nadya Suleman. I hope that her children are able to grow in a healthy, happy and positive home environment and that she finds the happiness she’s always wanted.
As for her doctor, if he actually was involved with all of her previous IVF treatments as well as this one that transferred six embryos – then I’m all for the medical board calling to review his license. That’s is completely irresponsible.