I haven’t run in to too many people lately who haven’t heard about Nadya Suleman and her eight pre-mature IVF babies. And the six she has at home. The one with autism. The welfare checks. How she lives with her mother. That the father isn’t involved. How she doesn’t have a job. Blah, blah blah. Anyone who hasn’t seen her story on the news, an entertainment show, a magazine or the Internet in the past month is quite certainly living under a dark, sound-proof rock.
I’m having trouble talking about this situation with even my husband because it’s so frustrating and for the most part anytime friends, family, strangers, etc. bring it up in conversation, I choose to practice my right to keep my damn mouth shut. I feel like I’d sound like a hypocrite. We’re similar because we’re both dieing to start a family and both have to rely on IVF to achieve that. We’re different in a lot of ways, too. That to me seem obvious.
The site Dooce.com is one of my favorites, I know I’ve mentioned her here before. She participates in a mommy-blogger Web group called Momversation, in which each contribute a video blog about a topic and discuss it. Often times it’s about sex after having a baby or the difference in being a mom vs. a wife (my sort of hard-knocks college where I’m earning a pre-mom in motherhood). This week’s convo discussed the ethics of planned multiples, with Ms. Suleman a hot target. I wanted to share it with you because the sentiment is expressed in a much more detached way that I feel I can politely convey myself.
They make a point in this video to say that because of this situation, it will make the judgment on other infertile couples that much worse. And it will. We’ve already been faced with some comments about the number of children we’ll deliver. I adamantly remind people that I have a responsible doctor who consistently urges me to only transfer a single embryo. No more. No less. While I’ve often hoped to have twins (one and done), when the time comes this July, I will likely follow my doctor’s instincts, ensuring the health of my baby and of my self. If I end up with two or six babies after that, then it must have been willed that way by someone or something far greater than me.
And, another point mentioned in the video, reproduction is an excruciatingly personal situation. How I choose to bring my offspring into this world is my business. How you choose to do so is yours. And how Nadya chose to do so is hers. It’s a very, very thin and steep line we’re all dancing off regarding infertility, multiple births and Nadya Suleman. I hope that her children are able to grow in a healthy, happy and positive home environment and that she finds the happiness she’s always wanted.
As for her doctor, if he actually was involved with all of her previous IVF treatments as well as this one that transferred six embryos – then I’m all for the medical board calling to review his license. That’s is completely irresponsible.