The Benefits of the IVF Waiting Game

July 28th, 2009

I’ve gotten this question before and when I responded to a “KJ” last night, I thought this was something I’d go ahead and share with everyone.

“…wanted to ask you how the wait was cause it looks about 18 months for us…”

How was the wait? Honestly, it was a blessing in disguise. We first started trying five years ago and I think all the time – what if we had gotten pregnant then? Or what if we had done the IVF 3.5 years ago when we found out. I think about all the things we’ve done in that time – where we’ve gone, things we’ve done, our careers, etc. and realize that most of it wouldn’t have been possible with a baby. So while my ovaries have screamed at me more times than I care to count and I’ve watched nearly every person we know have a baby, including my little sister last week, and drooled, cooed, ahhed and jealousy watched them hold their babies…. I’ve been grateful too. I’ll never ever get this time back. I’ll never have this chance again to take a career risk like I did 2 years ago, or sleep in every Sunday morning with my husband, or stay out much later than planned with friends, or any number of other things we’ve done BECAUSE WE’RE IN OUR 20s! I’ll never get this time back alone with my husband, just the two of us. We’ve had eight years together as a duo and it’s been precious and perfect. I think we’re going to scratch our 7-year-itch by turning this into a trio!

Anytime someone asks about waiting, baby vs. no baby, and how they wish they could just get pregnant already – I remind myself, and them if they want, that it will happen when it’s supposed to happen. And rather than having spent the past five years pouting, moping and being generally depressed about the fact that we don’t have a baby yet, I spent that time enjoying my life, appreciating what I DO HAVE, and putting my energy into building as positive a marriage and life as I possibly can into which I can bring that little burping, pooping, screaming cuddly monster home.

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