He Gets It!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Let me start by saying that when the call came from Shelton’s brother last night to tell us about Tilton’s arrival, I was watching the season finale of The Mole. With no way to pause the TV when I saw his name on my caller ID, I hesitated to answer. I’m glad I chose to answer though.
After we’d hung up with Keith, I sat in Shelton’s lap just hugging him. He asked if I was doing OK. The day our nephew was born I was a wreck. But in all fairness, the day he was born we had just had our first appointment with our fertility doctor and everything was still so fresh. I had an ear-to-ear grin and told him I was fine. He asked again. I told him I was fine.
Anyone married knows that “fine” from the wife doesn’t always mean fine. So very sympathetically, Shelton asked one more time if I was handling the news OK. I told him that I couldn’t be any happier. I was thrilled to have my niece and so excited that they delivered a healthy baby girl.
Not that Shelton doesn’t get this, but the way he manages the emotions is far different than me. It meant so much that he asked, and kept asking until he knew I was alright. It also shows how much we’ve grown in this journey in the past two years.
It’s a Niece!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
About 18 hours ago we welcomed our new niece into this world. Her name is Tilton, and long before her birth we’ve been calling her Tillie. She’s a perfect and healthy 7 pound, 7 ounce, 20” bundle of girly joy. She is what we call “the golden child.” The first girl in a family of all boys. I can tell already that she’s got daddy tightly wound around her teeny tiny finger.
Her parents just “had” to move to the other side of the country so we were not able to be there. We are nonetheless elated with the news and anxiously waiting the first pictures.
We could not be happier and send congrats to them!
Six
Monday, August 11, 2008
I’m a little delayed in posting this, but you’ll have to excuse me because I was in a love-drunk fog yesterday. It was our anniversary. The sixth one. We’ve said “happy anniversary” to one another six times. My mom said it best when she told me “Isn’t this like your tenth?”. To which I replied “no.” She then said, “Well, it feels like it should be.”
WE ARE NOT THAT OLD MOM!!!
There are days when I feel like Shelton and I should be celebrating our golden anniversary; beat each other with our canes and wash each others dentures in the morning before making a breakfast of soft foods. There are also days when I feel like I’m just recovering waking up from my wedding reception.
This goes down as one of our most memorable anniversaries. It was simple and romantical and Shelton did a lot of sweet things. We ended up with a 3-day weekend and just soaked up every minute we could get together. We talked about the good, the bad, the ugly and what lies ahead. A small gift to Shelton was a box of chocolates from a local artisan chocolate shop. Each year on our anniversary we try to give the “traditional” wedding gifts. It’s always something random and a somewhat loose interpretation of what the list suggests. The sixth anniversary is candy- so we enjoyed the chocolates after our dinner at home last night.
I am so in love with this man. Like most married couples, most days I don’t see it and it takes an event to force my eyes open. Yesterday was one of those. I am thankful for his friendship, his love, his commitment, his patience, his honesty and his ability to always make me feel loved and appreciated.
What really struck me was that it was another anniversary without children. We don’t need babysitters to go out and celebrate. We don’t have to sacrifice the romance of our day because the kids want to watch SpongeBob and eat hotdogs. The most distraction we have is the dog snoring under the bed. When my mom was celebrating her sixth anniversary she had had her third child six months prior.
We had a lot of talks about becoming parents and starting a family. Reassuring one another that we will see that day… and many more anniversaries.
Good News Times Three
Thursday, August 07, 2008
I have some fun and exciting news.
No, it’s not a baby.
First, I’ve been invited to be a featured blogger at Wellsphere’s new pregnancy community. Wellsphere is a wonderful health community with a huge focus on dieting and weight loss. They are expanding their editorial offerings by creating a pregnancy community. This is a site that I’ve followed for sometime and definitely give a thumbs-up for its credibility, thoroughness, friendly people and inviting layout. I’m beyond flattered that I was chosen to be a part of starting the pregnancy community. Looking forward to getting started and will certainly share with you when that happens.
Second, well, I can’t really tell you. Another invitation to be part of a writing project and I’m quite humbled by the invite. I think this is the largest writing project I’ve ever taken on. A lot of lost sleep and second-guessing myself. But I’m really pleased with where things stand now. Will fill you in when I can. Wink!
Third, I paid off one of my student loans. A small one mind you. I still have the heaping behemoth that keeps me bound at the ankles to Uncle Sam. The woman at the OU bursar congratulated me and I actually welled up with tears. (Imagine that, me crying!) I put myself through college. I did it on my own and I’m paying it back a few pennies at a time on my own. If you don’t mind my saying so, I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished in the four years since graduation. Paying that off is a huge milestone for me and will allow us to shift that payment to the heaping behemoth.
Thanks again to all of you who frequent the site and send emails. I’m glad you’ve come along this journey so far with me/us… and looking forward to taking you on the rest!
Just Say No to Twins
Monday, August 04, 2008
My entire life I’ve wanted to have twins. When I was little, I would find names that rhymed and imagine dressing them in identical outfits. Now that I’m older, and having to pay for IVF, I fantasize about getting two birds with my $20,000 stone. Multiples is a known “side-effect” of infertility treatments. In the 90s it seemed there was always a 20/20 story about the newest family to bring home a litter of 10 babies. Infertility treatment has been refined, doctors have gotten smarter and patients stopped having their wombs used as the one place that would save civilization if the rest of mankind vanished.
When we found out we’d have to do IVF, one of my initial “find the silver lining” realizations was that I could get twins. I could bring home TWO WHOLE BABIES!!! Making both a childhood and adult dream come true. Shelton will argue that there is no way we can handle two or three babies at a time. I tell him that if you’ve never had even one baby- how is the adjustment harder or different? Plus, with two or three babies, you get to pick out TWO or THREE names! And TWO or THREE matching outfits!
Of course, all of this is a romanticized version in my head compared to what the reality would really be. I found this story last week that explains why you shouldn’t be wishing for twins afterall. Most infertility doctors and patients prefer to transfer multiple embryos to ensure a pregnancy. One in four of these pregnancies result in twins (vs. one in 80 natural conceptions). This story is from a UK paper, but the facts and information won’t vary much from how things are on this side of the pond. Legislation is being passed to get those twin pregnancies down to one in ten.
They are primarily looking at the complications that result from multiple-birth pregnancies compared to single pregnancies. The risks escalate with multiples.
Our doctor is very much a proponent of our only transferring one embryo. I’d rather not, because I want to do this once. The selfish side of me wants my TWO WHOLE BABIES all at the SAME TIME! I have several girlfriends with twins and I kind of daydream about the sisterhood we’d share if we were all looney from having twins! However, I will not for one second disregard my doctor’s recommendation if it means protecting my safety and health, and that of my baby(s).
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