So we kicked off the week with a trip to the OB, where I was finally going to get an exam and finally hear that I’m dilated to a one… maybe two. But that’s not exactly what I happened. I went to the OB. I had an exam. And I was told that I haven’t dilated at all. NOT AT ALL!!! Dear God in heaven I’m going to be pregnant forever and six days after that. How can I have had contractions since FEBRUARY, my colostrum is in, I’m due in three weeks and I haven’t dilated at all! He did let me know that her head is down and locked in place, so that part is good. He said she didn’t float away when he pushed on her. So, good job baby! Way to hold up your end of the deal. Head Down!
On Wednesday I was just a ball of grump. For no reason at all, I’d had a really good day, nothing to complain about. But when Shelton asked why I was being so grumpy I responded, “Well, I’m nine months pregnant and I have a full-grown human in my abdomen.” Fair enough. I’m just achy and tired and nothing is comfortable and everything is uncomfortable. Nothing sounds good but I’m hungry. I’m overwhelmed trying to get work situated and squared away without feeling like I’m abandoning them. Let’s not forget the ever-growing nerves of pushing this kid out of my lady parts and then, in case you didn’t know, they’ll send her HOME WITH ME. FOREVER! It’s just a lot.
That night while sitting in the tub, the tub that 20 minutes before was covered in poison because of some really odd pin-dot bug infestation that my husband then scrubbed mercilessly to make sure we have an organic baby free of pesticides, I had one of those moments that makes you all warm and gooey inside and appreciate this whole pregnancy thing. I was perfectly still, letting the warm water envelop my achy, moose-shaped body. And then, her hiccups started. She usually has a session in the morning and a session in the evening and at first I found them kind of annoying (and she’s thinking, you should try it from this side!), but I’ve slowly kind of fallen for them. It’s just this uncomfortable little sign that there’s this real person growing inside of me and she’s a real baby now. Because babies get hiccups. And she gets hiccups! So I’m sitting there, water is still, the hiccups start, and with each hiccup a ripple rolls across the tub. Over and over and over. I just sat with my hands wrapped over my belly, feeling each jolt and watching each ripple and smiled. She’s not going to be in there much longer and I already know that for as turbulent as this pregnancy has been, I’m going to miss it so very, very much. Odds are, I’m not going to have a hiccuping baby bump ever again. And so I took a moment, in the chaos of everything that’s going on and the exhaustion I feel, and savored this one tiny moment between me and the daughter I’ve yet to meet.
Thursday was another doozy. I’ve already shared the nightmare it was here. If you want to hear how a soulless cop gave a crying pregnant woman a ticket and how later that night I nearly suffocated and died, it’s worth a read!!
Friday night was the exhale we both needed. We spent the evening on the patio of a favorite bar downtown where we spent a few hours chatting with friends, soaking up the blissfully perfect weather and stuffing our faces with bar food. But their bar food, it’s the best.
Saturday we slept in, enjoyed a killer breakfast of my french toast, hit the farmer’s market and then spent the afternoon doing this and that. We finished the evening by hanging out on the deck with grilled fajitas and homemade guacamole.
The week went to hell and back, and this side of it was so much better. We’re enjoying these last few moments of “just us” and trying to squeeze in as many as we can. I know soon we’ll look back on these days of sleeping in and lounging in the sunset uninterrupted with longing. My heart nearly stopped when I loaded the site a moment ago and the countdown said 14 days. I know it’s 14 days. I’ve been saying T-minus two weeks to myself all day. But to see it there in writing, Wow! It’s getting very real… and very close.