Drive up and down any country road and there are baby cows, goats, horses and the like. Sift through my inbox and you’ll see message after message about new babies. As told last month, my best friend had her first. A good couple friend of ours, whom we’ve met through Shelton’s job, had their first two weeks ago (congrats Emily and Brandon!). Add to the list our good camping buddies, Shelton’s brother with #2 and another friend due this fall- BABIES ARE EVERYWHERE!
It’s spring and so everything is fertile and pregnant and birthing. I’m not! But you know what, I’m OK with that. I’m calling this my “whatever phase.” You know, you go through the phases of grief- anger, denial, depression, acceptance. I passed acceptance a long time ago. I’m genuinely comfortable and have come to terms with our situation. It’s the hand that God dealt us and I tell you, he could have dealt far worse. FAR WORSE! So, my whatever phase. There’s not a fiber in my being that doesn’t want to be a mom, have a couple of little short people tearing through my house and watching Shelton forcibly become more comfortable with the human anatomy and all its splendor (and ickiness!). There are days when I look around at the hundreds of diapers people are buying, days without sleep they’ve been deprived, handfuls of advil they’ve taken to silence the headaches- and I think, I’m good! My whatever phase is that today, I’m cool and content and at peace with where I am and not having a baby for now; tomorrow could be another case of wanting.
You know how you can see your spouse and your heart starts racing? Or you smell a delectable meal and your mouth starts watering? I swear that when I hold a new baby my ovaries start throbbing- bom-bom, bom-bom. I think it’s the same reaction I have when I smell Shelton’s cologne. YUM! It’s that feeling, that assures me that whether it’s tomorrow or ten years from now- I do want to have babies and I want to be a mom.
So with spring blooming outside (thank you GOD for that!, the longest winter EVER!), and babies blooming in the tummy of everyone I know it seems- I just wanted to let everyone know that I am OK. I am bursting at the seams happy for every last one of them, and for the moment at least, happy with where Shelton and I are, too.