Being Thankful

November 25th, 2006

We’re wrapping up Thanksgiving weekend in Oklahoma City, where we spent the holiday with Shelton’s clan. As usual it was a jam-packed house with more food than one could possibly consume, but somehow we managed.

We did not split the holiday between our two families this year as we usually do. I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, but as the weekend progresses I’m missing them more and more. I get everyone for Christmas though, so we can wait a few more weeks.

One thing that is very different from my family and Shelton’s is that before we eat, we all go around the table and say what we’re thankful for. I didn’t get that opportunity this year.

During what has quite possibly been the worst, most trying, stressful and challenging year of my life, I’m so happy that I can still smile and have a list of thanks a mile long.

I’m thankful for my incredible husband and the bajillion ways he makes me smile, laugh, feel beautiful and wake up every morning. I’m thankful for the two great jobs we have. I’m thankful for the amazing families and friends we have who have surrounded and showered us with love and support this year. I’m thankful that we ultimately have perfect health. I’m thankful for the thousands of people who have visited Baby or Bust and reached out to us either by email or donation. I’ve never known that perfect strangers could be so generous. The support from all of you has been so appreciated.

This year has not treated us kindly. We started the year learning about our infertility and every single day I’m still working through that and what it means and how it affects our lives on so many levels. It gets easier, but it never goes away. And then this fall my parents divorced. It was quick, but not entirely painless. And while the situation is better now and I think it is for the best, it’s still difficult to deal with. I’m thankful that my parents have made this an amicable split and remain friends. I’ve never been through a divorce of any kind before, so I’m learning as I go.

I’m very ready for this year to end. Hopefully when the clock strikes midnight on the 31st next month, it will box up all the crap that has happened this year and let us start fresh and new. When the clock hits midnight, Shelton and I will celebrate six years since we started dating, and that’s pretty exciting! I’m tired of my heart feeling so sad and I’m ready to get out of this funk I’ve been in and keep pretending isn’t there. That’s my own fault though. I think I’d be a puddle somewhere by now if it hadn’t been for all the wonderful blessings in our lives, many of which I listed above. In the face of all the bad, I’m so glad I can look around and see myself surrounded by so much good.

Thank God for that.